Findings:

• How is it that Mexicans know neither Chili con Carne nor Toilet Paper?
• how to nondestructively defeat a Scott toilet paper dispenser
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• paper toilet seat covers
• Strange man makes permanent visit
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• How To Avoid Being Something Other Than What One Is Not
• How Solemn as One by One
• 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
• One-ply toilet paper
• How to be the first one off the line at a 4-way stop sign
• I didn't know how to keep it but I couldn't throw it away.
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• Opening a coke can with one hand
• How to unclip a bra with one hand
• Moving a SharePoint portal from one drive to another
• Usually, if you've seen one bald man in a robe, you've seen 'em all, but most of them aren't burning alive from the inside out
• Does toilet paper go bad?
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• How to assassinate a third world despot with only a butt plug and a litre of raspberry coulis
• not what words are used, but how they are used
• How Liquid Paper invented the local news
• Buying a toilet plunger
• there are many voids but this one is mine
• But how's the grilled cheese? A GCP reunion and nodermeet in St. Louis, Jan 2006
• How to become one of the lads (if you're a girl)
• Papermaking
• How to solve the obesity epidemic and the oil price hike in one fell swoop
• square one
• How far can we get on one tank of fuel
• There are many like it, but this one is mine
• It takes two people to make you and one person to die. That is how the world is going to end.
• How to redeem one's faith in humanity
• Libertarianism sounds good on paper, but is it really?
• The Great Toilet Paper Heist
• Alternatives to toilet paper
• Angels on toilet paper
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• I would kiss you, but I don't know how to kiss
• it's not what you node, but how you node
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• how to fold a square
• I’ve stepped in many things but sex is a new one
• one kiss: bad for me, but i give in so easily. i'm weak.
• How to wipe your ass
• How one man could control the Senate
• How to hurt yourself on one of those giant inflatable bouncy things
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV
• How to crack an egg with one hand
• how to square a number in your head
• How to fake aged paper
• Putting groceries in a paper bag
• How to write a history term paper
• How to build an emergency bat
• How to get someone to stop playing that one song over and over
• How to Write an English Paper
• Crossing one eye
• How does one love the dead?
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• Anecdote involving a toilet and a drunk guy
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• How to tell if paper is acid free
• How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
• They do not know how immortal, but I know
• toilet paper
• John Wayne Toilet Paper
• I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
• BQN: But, one for all?
• The Slydini Toilet paper trick
• One red paper clip
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing.
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• that moment of panic when you flush the toilet but nothing goes down
• I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
• Death arrived shortly thereafter, but we were both far too busy to bother with one another just yet
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• I will make him promises, but not ones I am afraid to break
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• But we should not be afraid. How else will we discover the answers?
• How to write an English paper and fail
• Telling real pearls from fake ones
• the world's big enough, but how about your mind?
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• I love you but you are not here, oh how my poor heart aches with angst
• we are learning how not to forget, but we still don't know what's true
• How to BS a Term Paper
• How many pictures is one word worth?
• How complex can a public toilet be?
• How to write an "A" paper with minimal effort
• How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
• How to scream when no one is looking
• How to flip a coin when you haven't got one
• The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
• Cemeteries are boring, but I can't seem to stay away from this one in particular.
• We're one, but we're not the same
• How to find a square root using ruler and compass
• Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
• How to work an airplane toilet door lock from the outside
• How to clap with one hand
• Fixing a toilet
• How does it feel to know you are one of my bad habits?
• How to cut a deck of cards with one hand
• How to paste one person's face over another
• How to get anywhere on the Earth in one hour
• How can one ever go home? Bangkok, Tokyo, Chicago, then Cleveland
• How to project one vector onto another
• One of my IRC friends died and I don't know how to feel
• How to not fake aged paper
• How to survive a toilet crisis during a party
• how to square numbers near fifty
• Making paper angles
• How my psychology teacher single-handedly ruined art and music for me in one fell swoop
• How to abolish one of the United States
• How Important is One Vote?
• Master key
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• I never knew how much snow it took to flush a toilet.
• It takes the profit from 22 towels to pay for one package of copier paper
• Back to square one
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• How to get an A on your English paper
• How a 25-year-old can contract diaper rash in one fun night
• This one goes out to you - not so much the people in the audience, but more the people in my mind
• Executive toilet paper
• recycled toilet paper
• White House toilet paper crisis
• at square one in a bed for two
• the square root of negative one
• Square One TV
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• butt naked
• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• Mr. Butts
• Words that sound dirty but really aren't
• There is no god but God
• That'd be the butt, Bob
• Friends and lovers, but sometimes just friends
• Butt hinge
• Butt joint
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• But my computer really IS possessed
• Butt crack of dawn
• Lots of MIPS but no I/O
• Things people put up their butts
• Project B.U.T.T.
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• butts ARE litter
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• Why is there always money for war, but not for education?
• I love you, I want you, but you are a cruel monster
• But I digress
• If I could slip this skin but for a moment
• Sorry, but I AM my fucking khakis
• My library books are late, but I don't care
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• Sexist jokes
• Yard Butt
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• Not really by the rules, but...
• No, but I'll have a beer
• Free but worthless shares
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• Junk mail never has to spell your name right, but important stuff does
• I know you are, but what am I?
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• Why mirrors reverse left and right, but not up and down
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• Opposites may attract, but is it a good idea?
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?

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