Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I would have thought it was damn funny, had I not been bleeding from the ass."

• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• I would a thousand times rather have had a simple cheap sandwich with a friend
• I would have cooled this if you had written it
• if I was doing it for compliments I would have stopped a lot sooner
• I have been alone while I was with many girls
• Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
• How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
• I would have leapt at the innuendo you had strewn at my feet.
• you would have been
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you meddling kids!
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• And then wings sprouted from the space between my shoulders where my wings had once been
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• if music was a woman you would have a mistress
• If I had the money I would get lost. God knows I have the time.
• Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
• You have been paroled from participation in the Capitalist Project
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
• I would have attempted to draw her if she had stayed that way.
• we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
• A time when a gun might have been helpful
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• Your radical ideas about taking candy from thefez have already occurred to others
• Could I Have Been?
• war trophies for people who have never been to war
• Have you been a dad today?
• I was less than one hundred footsteps away from you I suppose
• And only those who had been there knew the whole truth.
• I don't have a postmodern condition; I've always been like this
• Your success in life has been predetermined from birth
• We have been shown the plan only insofar as it concerns ourselves
• We are the people we have been waiting for.
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• It could have been a Brilliant Career
• Strangers have been, and continue to be, very kind to me. Thank you.
• How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• My entire life I have been composing my death poem
• A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• A list of things kids should and should not have from a woman who has no kids
• Life had been an opportunity lost
• The cat (rumination of all that could have been)
• I have been orbiting this planet for thirty-seven years, and am just now starting to experience reentry (document)
• Could have beens, should have beens
• Laugh when you have been listening well
• I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
• You will be a tear-stained diary entry, and it will have been all your fault
• Boy, have you been having those dreams of yours again?
• I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus.
• We Have Always Been The Party Of No
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• I've had better hugs from wind gusts and dead people
• how to stop someone's massive bleeding from the femoral artery
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• She always was all tea and oranges that came all the way from China
• The South had the right to secede from the Union
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• you've been through something that no one should have to go through
• Weak and desperate from decades of commuting the djinn would barter all for coffee and a friendly ear
• Balloons whose strings have slipped from unclutched hands
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• The hot girls from cold countries have scars you're not supposed to see
• unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
• If they put you in a copy machine, an ass would come out
• I have always been burning
• Why have there been no great women artists?
• Things that have never been said in the entire history of man
• All Girls Should Have Been Born Blonde
• AES may have been broken
• had Orpheus been a gentleman
• Last time I was in Chicago I broke my ass
• It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
• I had been hungry all the years
• And All That Could Have Been
• I must have been mental to have done something like that, eh?
• I have been thinking about kissing. A lot.
• How long have you been in love with her?
• you have never been safe
• Let's go, keys. I've been drinking vodka and have a lot of big ideas.
• I am not gay. I have never been gay.
• You have been in every line I have ever read
• I could have been Canadian
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• do you remember the disco rhombus? it must have all been a dream.
• They say that I have the best ass below 14th Street
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• Will the distant future see a removal from linear thought?
• Damn, damn, damn: what did you have to go and do that for
• i have been burning for so long
• How the inside of the mind would look from a purely abstract point of view
• Home Thoughts, From Abroad
• When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
• Stoned music memories
• Where the water for the flood could have come from
• Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?
• I have freed myself from corporate advertising
• Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend Colby
• So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• You're so funny I think I'll kick your ass
• Thoughts from a new user
• impossible now to discern which had cleaved a heart from the errant which had missed the mark.
• Fruit cut from the vine, forgot and left to rot, long before it was time
• A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything you have
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• Wedding invitations for people who have been divorced for years
• Have you ever been illusioned?
• Final moments lost to what should have been
• The Little Girl that Had Been Dead for a Hundred Years
• They are angry and they have been lied to
• As if we had been sitting next to each other for years
• What Might Have Been
• Conrad wants to know what I have been dreaming. This might get complicated.
• You know you've been away from home too long
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• The path we have been walking
• I wish Sid Vicious would kick my fucking ass
• Grief, killing grief, have not my torments been
• The bong on the table must have been part of the scenery
• The classic Warner Brothers cartoon characters have been replaced by lookalikes
• Do not be surprised, I have always been your canvas, Argenis.
• It could have been me
• It Must Have Been the Roses
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• Some liberties have been taken with dialogue
• Gap analysis of a telephone call
• I wish I had been told what Schrödinger really meant
• I should have been a pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
• The way things have always been done
• I have been showing you what a warrior is not.
• our voices, once clarion, have been muted by time and mortgages
• I appear to have been misinformed
• For all sad words on tongue or pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been."
• a bad day is when I lie in the bed and think of things that might have been
• I could have been one of a two
• Advice I have been given about girls
• I have just been shot
• CAUTION: Warning signs have not been installed
• I have gone too far. I have been thinking, this is my life. Well, not yet.
• What is Heraclides had never been born?
• Names have been changed
• Movies that should have been books first
• should have been an artist not a software engineer
• Hello lovely fool where have you been all this time.
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• We are the ones we have been waiting for
• I have been enslaved to imaginary Berlins my whole life. (dream) mp3 (recording)
• I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender.
• and then, one morning, I realised I had been an adult for a while
• How to really brush your teeth (Yes, you have been doing it wrong)
• Are you searching to be inspired? Or are you searching to be amused, be content, be happy? What could you have been?
• Could Muhammad have been autistic?
• Our minds bend and twist in the wind, our bodies fall apart, and the ghosts we leave behind have only one question: Where Have You Been?
• What if Heraclides had never been born?
• I have been enslaved to imaginary Berlins my whole life.
• A part of us remains wherever we have been.
• I had seen the whole thing coming like a ghost train. Here I am on the tracks, still bleeding, taking phone numbers, haunted.
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• He's been places they have not.
• if a cycle can be broken, then it will have been worth it
• and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
• If you're not sure whether or not you've been had, then you've already been had.
• Oh well, I guess I'll have to stain the world with darkness until my bloodlust has been quenched.
• all that time, all those threads, weaving through something that must have been far too confusing to enjoy

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