WARNING! INSANE SPOILERS! NEVER RUB ANOTHER MAN'S RHUBARB!
Title: Bipolar DisorderRelease Date: December 2001
Writers: Chuck Dixon and
Scott BeattyPenciller: Darryl BanksInker: Wayne FaucherJLA Members: Superman,
Batman,
Green Lantern,
the Flash,
Wonder Woman,
Plastic Man, and
the Martian Manhunter.
Bad Guys: Dr. Polaris.
Cameos: The Joker,
Dr. Light,
Captain Nazi,
King,
Ten,
Ace,
Houngan,
King Shark,
Dervish.
So what happens?A little
backstory: DC's latest
crossover event is called the
Last Laugh. The Joker believes he has a terminal
brain tumor and has decided to leave his mark upon the world. Using his knowledge of
chemistry, he's exposed a huge number of
supervillains to his
Joker Venom, creating a small
army of pasty-skinned,
green-haired, grinning, giggling
homicidal maniacs. Most of 'em are small-timers, contenting themselves to defacing
national monuments and killing
Cub Scouts for
laughs, and are taken down by various solo heroes. But when you get a Jokerized villain who could destroy the planet all by himself, you gotta call in the
Big Guns...
Even under the best of circumstances, Dr. Polaris is
crazy. The
magnetic supervillain is one of the most powerful beings on earth, but his
multiple personalities often leave him warring with himself, instead of the superheroes. But now that he's been Jokerized,
all of his personalities are raving
lunatics, and he's flying down to
Antarctica so he can absorb all of the
South Pole's
electromagnetic energy. That basically turns
him into the South Pole, giving him the ability to shift the Earth's
axis just by going for a walk.
Weather starts to get
wacky, the
Southern Lights are sighted on the wrong side of the
equator, and the JLA swings into action, only to have Polaris crash their jet in the middle of the Antarctic.
After that, everyone starts making fairly
dumb decisions for a while. Must be magnetic waves messing with
brain chemistry or something. They let Plastic Man
freeze solid (Hey, we'll let th' guy who shatters when frozen turn into a popsicle. It'll be funny. Hyuk!), then they let Green Lantern decide how to deal with Polaris (Hit him fast and hit him very, very hard) instead of Batman (Plan this out ahead). So of course, Polaris stomps 'em,
magnetically electro
shocking Batman and Wonder Woman, magnetizing Martian Manhunter's blood and Green Lantern's ring, and socking Superman with a few thousand tons of derelict Antarctic
shipwrecks. Flash has to race ahead of the cloud of metal
debris that Polaris sends after him but is able to get everyone far enough away from Polaris to keep them safe. But the problem remains: Polaris has an effective
counter for everyone in the JLA, because all of them have at least trace amounts of metal in their
bloodstreams...all except for one frozen
popsicle...
So Martian Manhunter hurls the still-frozen Plastic Man at Dr. Polaris' position, and Superman and Green Lantern use
heat vision and a
power ring-generated laser cannon to melt Plas again. Plastic Man quickly wraps Polaris up and re-enacts
Three Stooges routines on him 'til he's good and
woozy, then lets Wonder Woman punch his lights out.
And that's pretty much the end of it. Superman, Martian Manhunter, and Plastic Man stay at the South Pole to help undo the Jokerization and drain Polaris of his excess
electromagnetic energy, and Batman teleports back to Gotham City on a
teleport pad he apparently buried in Antarctica just in case he ever needed one there. Better check your
kitchen pantry; Batman may have built a teleport pad there just in case he ever runs out of
Froot Loops...
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