Findings:
- The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
- and then, one morning, I realised I had been an adult for a while
- If you're not sure whether or not you've been had, then you've already been had.
- And only those who had been there knew the whole truth.
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
- What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
- And then wings sprouted from the space between my shoulders where my wings had once been
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
- my only pin-up was Pelé
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- She bought a new smile every week when we first started seeing each other. Then I had to buy them.
- This is the time. The time was now. And now is then. This was the time.
- only then will we be safe from each other
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- How was the Bible canonized?
- Our minds bend and twist in the wind, our bodies fall apart, and the ghosts we leave behind have only one question: Where Have You Been?
- If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- I washed dishes with the Chinese FBI then was an extra in a cursed movie
- Dumb laws
- If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic.
- The girls had gone wild and now my dad's cock was missing
- How to really brush your teeth (Yes, you have been doing it wrong)
- Stuff was started stuff had ends
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
- How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
- Was I nearly as anti-consumerism as I had initially thought?
- Besides the part where she was the only one
- Baby I Was Lonely (user)
- The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
- Evolution is only a theory
- This was then, and now I can't even find your grave
- I was a young boy that had big plans
- How Eulenspiegel had his horse shod with silver and gold
- She was the prettiest, loveliest cat at the ball and she had upon her fine gilded whiskers.
- I was the worst lay you ever had
- if a cycle can be broken, then it will have been worth it
- She was feminine in the most displaced sense I had ever seen, a known quality refracted through stained glass windows.
- I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
- How the West Was Won
- We have been shown the plan only insofar as it concerns ourselves
- Imagine how the world would be if only wrecking balls could destroy flowers
- no matter how pretty the flower, it's still only a weed
- This is a story I wish I had been able to write. Hope you like it.
- How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
- How I then tried to diffuse the Theory of Three Dimensions by other means, and of the result
- All it said was clump and scratch, and it only said those very late at night.
- Looks like 1984 was only n years off
- 2016 was bad enough. Is it only going to get worse?
- Death was a part of me then, too.
- if a bird is never free from his cage, then his world is only his name
- Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
- If the only sexual organ you have is a penis then everything looks like a vagina
- His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
- can it be that it was all so simple then
- I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
- it was true then
- Is this what I have been seeking? Or is it an echo, a remnant, a sign that I was wrong?
- As if we had been sitting next to each other for years
- since then it's been a book you read in reverse
- I was a bitter, purple-haired fat girl, and I had plenty of male friends
- The "How many partners have you had" question
- How to check if someone has been through it all
- Grammatical and syntactic puzzles
- I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
- The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
- I was once young and had a home
- It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
- The Little Girl that Had Been Dead for a Hundred Years
- If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
- I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender.
- How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
- They had been expecting me
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- If you meet the Buddha on the road, ask him how far it is to the next gas station. *Then* kill him.
- How Kissing Was Discovered
- man when you are telling me how it was
- This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
- How to assassinate a third world despot with only a butt plug and a litre of raspberry coulis
- How to find something which has been lost
- you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
- That's Just How He Was
- all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
- Charles Bridgeman
- You've been a Noder how long? A Completely Token E2versary Pretext for a London Britnoder Picnic
- Jesus was a Gay Black Hippie Jew (song only) (recording)
- Life had been an opportunity lost
- (because this was always subconsciously the inspiration, even if I did not know it at the time, and I only realised it just now)
- Outside the train station she was the only person wearing an Orange raincoat and a look of surprise
- I was only starting to grow
- He Was Only Joking
- I imagined that gravity was the only force in the universe.
- a pitcher of beer was only two fifty
- Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
- That Was Then, This is Now
- then only the soil harbors angry blood
- strange and too short but I was lonely
- I said I was sorry. Then she looked at me.
- I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
- It was all awesome. Then the robots took over.
- If it was still then-
- I Was Looking at the Ceiling And Then I Saw the Sky
- You Forget Sometimes There Was Sunshine Back Then
- He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
- And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
- War is only fun on screen
- I had been hungry all the years
- unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
- How to check if someone has been to the mall
- What if Heraclides had never been born?
- What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
- How does the Military Selective Service Act apply to individuals who have had a sex change?
- How I had a Vision of Lineland
- You can only play the cards you've been dealt
- If I only had a brain
- Some of Us Had Been Threatening Our Friend Colby
- What is Heraclides had never been born?
- America if I only had the money. Here are your new commercials:
- Like hands on a clock tell time without thinking about how long it's been
- I had to call my father this evening and tell him I was dying.
- When I was young Time had no wings
- Had I a man's fair form, then might my sighs
- I wish I had been told what Schrödinger really meant
- She was thinking of a boy in California who had a couch and a job
- I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
- In a dream I had, I was on an island in the middle of the ocean.
- if I had known then what I know now
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- had Orpheus been a gentleman
- She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
- the dead had risen, and there was nobody to pump gas
- I had never known someone whose death was imminent
- How long have you been in love with her?
- This wasn't how it was supposed to be
- WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
- Just how perfect was Jesus?
- It was a dark and stormy night. I had taken a creative writing class.
- She disappeared as if he had only dreamed her
- How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
- How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
- How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
- How was your trip to London, Dan?
- but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
- How was the play, Missus Lincoln?
- How can one ever go home? Bangkok, Tokyo, Chicago, then Cleveland
- How the Earth was destroyed
- A half-man, half-monstertruck ex-CIA vampire must save the world the only way he knows how: with ROCK
- Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
- Making paper angles
- Running a BBS
- relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
- If only our tongues were made of glass, how much more careful we would be when we speak.
- The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
- How the West Was Lost
- if that's how you choose to see it, then that's how it is for you
- How was Trump at Munich?
- How America was mapped
- So - you've been making love to me ten thousand miles away - how tantalizing.
- You had to pretend success was fucked
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- I was only following orders
- If it had been able to, the light would have smiled
- If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail
- It's Lonely Being Only
- I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
- His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
- Only the Lonely
- Trompe
- middle of summer how crazy it was
- I have been alone while I was with many girls
- Evolution has never been observed
- I've Been Working on the Railroad
- Have you ever been illusioned?
- It hasn't been so long, but
- when it was done
- Could have beens, should have beens
- You've been slowly taking me over for nearly a year, do you know that?
- The classic Warner Brothers cartoon characters have been replaced by lookalikes
- You have been paroled from participation in the Capitalist Project
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