Findings:

• The best tuna fish sandwich I've ever had
• Best smoke I've ever had
• Best Math Books Ever Written
• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• The Only Song I've Ever Written
• The Worst Paper I've Ever Written
• the best damned story ever written
• The best comeback ever
• The best formation pilot I ever saw
• The bravest man I've ever known
• Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You
• This is the oldest I've ever been
• Your shoulder is the most comfortable thing I've ever slept on
• Smartest thing I've ever read on Reddit
• The best magic trick you've ever seen
• The Ten Best Metal Lyrics Ever
• The boldest lie I've ever heard
• The best thing ever
• The saddest funeral I've ever performed
• The tired scrawl of every word I've ever called my own.
• Slashdot Troll's Greatest Hits
• I've been smoking ever since
• Ever since I met you I've been looping a recursive subroutine
• Best Death Ever
• The most interesting job I've ever had
• The best thing my grandmother ever taught me
• the best Christmas present ever
• The Best Feeling Ever
• The best teacher I ever had
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• The greatest paper ever written
• The coolest I've ever felt, given that I didn't end up with a gun.
• The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
• Find every story and every poem you've ever written. Now rewrite them in blood.
• Letters I've written, never meaning to send
• Parking warning
• Best Week Ever
• You're the best thing that ever happened to me, no matter what
• The best line I ever used
• Banting and Best
• The best thing since sliced bread
• I did my best and failed abysmally
• Moms make the best lunches
• Being married to your best friend
• My best friend is a breakfast table
• The Best Day of my Life
• On a former best friend
• Don't you ever go to work?
• The first bear I ever saw
• The Last Song I Will Ever Write About a Girl
• I was the worst lay you ever had
• Up, because the sky has room for us and more than we can ever make
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• This is the worst vacation ever! I am going to cut open your forehead with a roofing shingle!
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• An ever
• Burl Ives
• "Mum, Dad, I've packed my bags and I'm moving out. I'm staying at Everything2."
• You know what? I've had it up to here with "Trix are for kids!" Give the rabbit a fucking bowl of cereal, you dick!
• I've lost my appetite
• i've seen earthworms larger than your average snake
• I've been waiting forever
• can i turn off this machine before it destroys everything that i've loved?
• The last written words of Martin Luther
• Why almost every node was written in the year 2000
• Revenge is a dish best served cold
• The best Linux distribution
• Some of my best friends are...
• Canada's newest and best referendum idea
• Everything's Best Users XML Ticker (ticker)
• The Best of Both Worlds, Part II
• the best way to a man's heart is through the ribcage
• Laughter isn't always the best medicine
• How (Not) To Write Erotica - 10 Easy Tips to Become the World's Best Amateur Porn Writer
• Mother knows best
• Diary of a dot-commer
• There's no such thing as happily ever after.
• All I ever needed to know about unit conversion, I learned from drugs
• Johnny Evers
• A Huge Ever Growing Pulsating Brain that Rules from the Centre of the Ultraworld
• She was the cutest necromancer I ever did see
• I won't ever understand
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• I've got a little list
• I've got a page one story buried in my yard; I've got a troubled mind
• I've had you here before
• I've been dead a long time
• Written Language Troll
• Adapting literary works for film and television
• Best friend
• best interest
• Year's Best SF, ed. David G. Hartwell
• ex-girlfriend is my best friend and now she's getting married
• The Best of Everything
• Brainy people make the best friends
• The best conversations take place in bed
• Everyone Thinks the Best about Their Own Children
• Best wishes on your personal guillotine
• British Book Award for Best Read of the Year
• some of my best friends are closeted homosexuals
• How to Choose the Best Programming Language to Learn for 2016
• Has a cat ever killed anyone?
• The Craziest Lady to Ever Grace a Burger King Drive-Thru
• Ever felt that?
• The U.S. Post Office: Benign little organization, or the linchpin of the greatest conspiracy ever?
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• Things I've learned from Everything
• Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen
• I've Seen Your Picture
• I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they are real
• I've been searching
• Words that can be written on a calculator
• Every poem about thunder was written under the protection of a roof, or, at the very least, an empty sky
• Best way to a man's heart
• my best Patrick
• How to find your new best friend
• laughter is the best medicine
• Best of the Best (user)
• My computer is my best friend. It is my life.
• The Prime Directive for Dummies: A Captain's Best Friend
• We exist in a world of pure communication, where looks don't matter and only the best writers get laid
• Cheshire's Best Kept Village
• T/A's best and worst advertising
• Will I ever know?
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Power companies are stealing our electricity!
• ever (user)
• have given my heart away just as carelessly and as meticulously planned as ever
• did you ever wonder (user)
• i keep thinking that this rain could last forever and i don't think it could ever stop
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• How would you know? And how could you ever know?
• the fact that i exist is testament to the perverse wonder that remains in the world, and i am not afraid that it will ever disappear
• I've got the Internet
• Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived
• I've been expecting you
• Some things I've learned about not smoking
• My life, Jim, and how I've lived it
• I've always been a bit of a joker
• i've been trying to get back to the center
• There is no weirdness like the weirdness of a novel written by a mathematician
• Written by committee
• The best revenge
• Best Actor
• The Best Men's Room in the Boston Area
• never know who told it best
• best (user)
• Best Foot Forward
• Ahmed Best
• Best casino (user)
• The best way is to walk
• When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
• Don't lie. Ever.
• How to know if you will ever experience time travel
• All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in the Dot-Com Apocalypse
• Do you mind if I crash on yr stained glass couch for, like, ever?
• The Quiet Things That No One Ever Knows
• Take a twenty-pound sledgehammer and vigorously and fanatically wield it against your confining ten-pound mold, your five-pound rut and smash the ever loving shit out of it, lovingly.
• the truest thing you've ever heard
• like nothing ever was
• i'm afraid i will have to request that no one have the name "john" ever again. Existing "johns" will need to change their names.
• I've been crowned the king of it
• I've developed a new skill
• Currier and Ives
• I give blood because I've got it on my hands.
• I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
• Written After Swimming from Sestos to Abydos
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character

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