Findings:

• The best tuna fish sandwich I've ever had
• Best smoke I've ever had
• Best Math Books Ever Written
• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• The Only Song I've Ever Written
• The Worst Paper I've Ever Written
• the best damned story ever written
• The best comeback ever
• I've been smoking ever since
• The tired scrawl of every word I've ever called my own.
• The best formation pilot I ever saw
• The most interesting job I've ever had
• Letters I've written, never meaning to send
• Ever since I met you I've been looping a recursive subroutine
• The best magic trick you've ever seen
• The Ten Best Metal Lyrics Ever
• The greatest paper ever written
• The best thing ever
• The coolest I've ever felt, given that I didn't end up with a gun.
• Slashdot Troll's Greatest Hits
• Best Death Ever
• The best thing my grandmother ever taught me
• the best Christmas present ever
• The Best Feeling Ever
• The best teacher I ever had
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• The 637 Best Things Anybody Ever Said
• The bravest man I've ever known
• Has Anyone Ever Written Anything for You
• Parking warning
• This is the oldest I've ever been
• Your shoulder is the most comfortable thing I've ever slept on
• Smartest thing I've ever read on Reddit
• The boldest lie I've ever heard
• Best Week Ever
• The saddest funeral I've ever performed
• You're the best thing that ever happened to me, no matter what
• The best line I ever used
• Banting and Best
• The best thing since sliced bread
• I did my best and failed abysmally
• Moms make the best lunches
• Being married to your best friend
• My best friend is a breakfast table
• The Best Day of my Life
• On a former best friend
• Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• The Greatest Snowball That I Ever Witnessed
• The first ever Central Maryland Impromptu Noder Gathering
• The worst ending ever
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• who shall ever tell the sorrow of being on this earth, lying, on quilts, on the grass, in a summer evening, among the sounds of the night?
• We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever die
• It's not that it all comes back to you. None of it ever leaves you in the first place.
• I've got $1.19 in change, and it's impossible for me to make change for a dollar
• I've Seen It All
• I've fallen and I can't get up!
• I've put in a request for a hooker with a freakishly high IQ but...
• Eyes I've known
• Written Language Troll
• Adapting literary works for film and television
• Revenge is a dish best served cold
• The best Linux distribution
• Some of my best friends are...
• Canada's newest and best referendum idea
• Everything's Best Users XML Ticker (ticker)
• The Best of Both Worlds, Part II
• the best way to a man's heart is through the ribcage
• Laughter isn't always the best medicine
• How (Not) To Write Erotica - 10 Easy Tips to Become the World's Best Amateur Porn Writer
• Unhappily Ever After
• The first dollar I ever made
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Silence
• The harshest winter ever
• the moon versus us ever sleeping together again
• Why if I ever meet Nancy Grace, I'll punch her in her yapping poodle-like face
• My favorite place I ever lived
• No one ever said that the moral process of humanization was necessarily a pleasant thing.
• i've lost the ability to be truly bored
• Why I've never been ice skating
• I realize that I've been missing the backs of necks
• I've always wanted to hear Morrissey sing the theme song from "The Love Boat"
• I've built a lot of blazing speed of light machines
• Words that can be written on a calculator
• Every poem about thunder was written under the protection of a roof, or, at the very least, an empty sky
• Best friend
• best interest
• Year's Best SF, ed. David G. Hartwell
• ex-girlfriend is my best friend and now she's getting married
• The Best of Everything
• Brainy people make the best friends
• The best conversations take place in bed
• Everyone Thinks the Best about Their Own Children
• Best wishes on your personal guillotine
• British Book Award for Best Read of the Year
• some of my best friends are closeted homosexuals
• How to Choose the Best Programming Language to Learn for 2016
• The most disturbing thing that I have ever seen on the back of a truck
• It won't ever remember what you choose to forget
• No government can ever give you freedom
• If I ever have kids, I will kick the TV in and hurl it out the window
• If I ever lose my legs
• The shortest detective story ever
• The Ten Sexiest Metal Songs Ever
• all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• the worst haircut ever
• I've Got a Secret
• I've been a woman for too long
• Extreme Paranoia: Nobody Knows The Trouble I've Shot
• Now that I've told you
• i've never wanted to die, only things i can never have
• There is no weirdness like the weirdness of a novel written by a mathematician
• Written by committee
• Best way to a man's heart
• my best Patrick
• How to find your new best friend
• laughter is the best medicine
• Best of the Best (user)
• My computer is my best friend. It is my life.
• The Prime Directive for Dummies: A Captain's Best Friend
• We exist in a world of pure communication, where looks don't matter and only the best writers get laid
• Cheshire's Best Kept Village
• T/A's best and worst advertising
• Does this ever go away?
• What ever happened to all the fun in the world
• Things are more like they are now than they ever were before
• Dischord Recording Artists
• Don't work at a golf course
• The only place I ever go is the grocery store.
• Ever thus to deadbeats
• The Ten Bawdiest Metal Songs Ever
• We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever live
• Is Astrology the Biggest Hoax Mankind has Ever Seen?
• I've never
• I've bought a watch to time your beauty
• Commit to paper the chances I've missed, the girls I've loved, the dogs I've kissed
• I've got socks
• Written After Swimming from Sestos to Abydos
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• The best revenge
• Best Actor
• The Best Men's Room in the Boston Area
• never know who told it best
• best (user)
• Best Foot Forward
• Ahmed Best
• Best casino (user)
• The best way is to walk
• When the best rapper was white, the best golfer was black, and the tallest guy in the NBA was Chinese
• The monsters of the past will be long forgotten by the time the general populace is ever forgiven
• Nicest things anyone's ever done for me
• Have you ever made a just man?
• In response to you telling me I have the bluest eyes you've ever seen
• You, born of the water, could you ever live far from the sea?
• This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
• The Ten Most Depressing Metal Songs Ever
• This guy tipped his waitress a dollar with a dick drawn on it. What happened next left me questioning everything I ever thought about income inequality.
• I've frequently not been on boats
• I've got access to Mother now, and I'll get my own answers, thank you
• The time I've lost in wooing
• Ive Brussel
• I've thrown a 2 carat diamond ring at a man on the streets of Paris.
• I've never asked a heart for rent money
• If an idea is written, it becomes a fact
• Faust, Part One, as written by Dr. Seuss
• Best Of, Volume 1

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