user since
Thu Aug 2 2001 at 03:04:22 (22.9 years ago )
last seen
Thu May 26 2016 at 19:54:55 (8.1 years ago )
number of write-ups
74 - View wunderhorn1's writeups (feed)
level / experience
7 (Chronicler) / 3161
mission drive within everything
1 standard deviation over the Merit mean
Cornflake S. Pecially, Jose Cuervo Especial
most recent writeup
A Wolf at the Door
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Peace to my compadres in a cool quiet room with no bastards in it (room). Keep that spirit alive.

If someone were to copy and continue updating my list of smarmy softlocks (at the bottom), they could consider me very pleased.

Anyone who wants a few easy writeups can help themselves to the information in my scratchpad.

First Against the Wall When the Revolution Comes

A Wolf at the Door
Alice's Restaurant
I'll Wear It Proudly
Natalie Portman
Yellow Lasers
My Dreamgirl Don't Exist
Mixed Bizness
Bad Idea (Retarded)
I'm Proud of You
My computer is my best friend. It is my life.
Losing Lisa
I Just Wasn't Made For These Times
The $20 Sack Pyramid
I Don't Like Mondays
You Are So Quiet!
Play That Funky Music
True Love Waits
Bad Days
Evil Will Prevail
Trans-Atlantic Drawl
Make Me Mommy

'.@_ '.@_ '.@_ '.@_ '.@_       (L'Escargatoire)

Were You 13 in the Summer of '94?

I was... The summer of 1994 is when I first discovered music outside of what my parents listened to. The "alternative" boom that was on at the time tapped right into my adolescent angst and quickly became my addiction. This playlist is an attempt to match the playlist my local radio station (WMMS) had at that time, with the constraint that all songs must have been released between 1993 and 1994. Every song is a memory stored somewhere in my brain -- I'm hoping that if I listen to them all again, I'll be able to retrieve some of those memories before they're lost forever. They're too special to me to be lost forever.

Belly - Feed the Tree				Feb 01, 1993
4 Non Blondes - What's Up			Mar 18, 1993
Radiohead - Creep				Apr 20, 1993
Porno For Pyros - Pets				Apr 27, 1993
Flaming Lips - She Don't Use Jelly		Jun 22, 1993 
Candlebox - You					Jul 20, 1993 
Smashing Pumpkins - Disarm 			Jul 27, 1993
Cracker - Euro-Trash Girl			Aug 24, 1993
The Breeders - Cannonball                       Aug 31, 1993
Counting Crows - Mr. Jones			Sep 14, 1993
Nirvana - All Apologies				Sep 21, 1993
Mazzy Star - Fade Into You                      Sep 27, 1993
James - Laid 					Oct 05, 1993
Pearl Jam - Daughter                            Oct 19, 1993 
10,000 Maniacs - Because the Night 		Oct 26, 1993
Lenny Kravitz - Are You Gonna Go My Way?        Nov 22, 1993
Alice in Chains - I Stay Away   		Jan 25, 1994
Green Day - Basket Case                         Feb 01, 1994
Lisa Loeb - Stay                                Feb 01, 1994
Beck - Loser					Mar 01, 1994
Nine Inch Nails - Closer			Mar 08, 1994
Soundgarden - Black Hole Sun  		        Mar 08, 1994
Weezer - Undone (The Sweater Song)		May 10, 1994
Hole - Doll Parts                               Apr 12, 1994
Rollins Band - Liar                             Apr 12, 1994
Live - All Over You				Apr 19, 1994
Stone Temple Pilots - Pretty Penny		May 31, 1994
L7 - Andres                                     Jul 12, 1994
Dinosaur Jr - Feel the Pain     		Aug 23, 1994
Offspring - Self Esteem 			Aug 23, 1994
Moist - Push                                    Aug 23, 1994
Oasis - Supersonic				Aug 30, 1994
Bad Religion - 21st Century Digital Boy	        Aug 30, 1994
They Might Be Giants - Snail Shell		Sep 13, 1994
R.E.M. - What's the Frequency Kenneth 	        Sep 27, 1994
Dave Matthews Band - Satellite 		        Sep 27, 1994
Heather Nova - Walk This World                  Oct 01, 1994
Cranberries - Zombie				Oct 04, 1994
Veruca Salt - Seether                           Oct 25, 1994
Stone Roses - Love Spreads			Dec 01, 1994
Bush - Everything Zen				Dec 05, 1994
Pearl Jam - Better Man				Dec 06, 1994


Anyone know where I could get free access to past Billboard charts?

Thanks to tres equis for the Triple J Hottest 100 writeups which helped me remember many of these artists.

___ says re: E2 Scratch Pad: I think you should definitely node the paper. But put the equations in for the pedants. They eat that shit like it's candy.

18:47 <Inflatable_Monk> I do express my love, but not the kind of love I would give to a girl. I express love to my family and my God. I'm not devoid of love and emotion. To me sex takes the back seat in love.
18:49 <Apatrix> sex takes the back seat only until it jumps into the driver's seat, grabs the wheel and steps on it.

"So we're moving towards a new distinction of class, not founded on money, but on the ability to use one's critical sense and to select information."
- Umberto Eco on the Internet

dead rat game (thing)

(thing) by zhaus                     Reputation: 4 C!                  Sat Nov 13 1999 at 14:38 utc

Spinning the rat on the tail needs more and more practice, but can you do it! It is to be done to play the game to fun. Having the rat the First Person spin it over it's tail. Run away he does then so other friends left look at rat spin fun. Then&he make fun of other friends because they're not knowing what fun comes next. He take hose and sprays friends so fun! They get mad but he talk to them, "they were silly fun to watch dead rat." Then all are funny happy.

16:36 <TenMinJoe> I like the way the noded lyrics have "Whoa" in them as if Joey from Blossom was singing it.

"less a parody than an homage..."

For Nate Oostendorp


I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by lesbian, monkey, and soy nodes,
getting a brain freeze from pipe linking Butterfinger McFlurry too many times,
angelheaded noders burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the e2 servers when the word galaxy comes up,
who bared their brains to the Content Editors and saw their writeups nuked to the furthest reaches of hell,
who passed through Everything University with eyes glazed over hallucinating M-noder status and the all-consuming desire for the respect of one's peers,
who were borged from the chatterbox for stoopid & adding to GTKY nodes that would soon to be destroyed,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear, burning their time in the glow of a CRT and watching their writeups get up- and down-voted like beating of a heart on too much caffeine,

To be continued...?


EDB in whom I sit lonely! EDB in whom I dream Angels! Crazy in EDB!. . .


Jetifi says
Nate Oostendorp! I'm with you in Kansas
where you're madder than I am
I'm with you in Kansas
where you must feel very strange...

||                                      ||
|| Love Is Better Than A Warm Trombone  ||
|| ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  ||
'-------------------. .------------------'
                    | |    _|/
                    | |  ."   ".
                    | | /(O)-(O)\
                   /_)||   /     |
                   |_)||  '-     |     
                   \_)|\ '.___.' /   |\/|_
                    | | \  \_/  /   _|  '/
                    |_|\ '.___.'    \ ) /
                    \   \_/\__/\__   |==|
                     \    \ /\ /\ `\ |  |
                      \    \\//     \|  |
                       `\   /\   |  /   |
                         |  ||   |\____/
                         |  ||   |

allseeingeye says just be careful with the spitvalve. ;)

 | @                                                             
 |        @                                                      
 | @                                                             
 | @@                                                            
 | O@@O    @                                              @      
 | @@OO@ @@ @                                 @                  
 | @@OOOO@O@@                                             @ @OO@ 
 | @OOOOOOOOO@O                               O            OOOO@ 
 | OOOOOOO@OOOO                                            OOOOO 
0+-@OOOOO@OOOOO------------------------------O-------------OOOOO-> now

carrot rope (thing)

(thing) by Ed Aims (print)                                                             Sat Nov 13 1999 at 09:53:30 UTC

It's Stephen Malkmus's penis to most people, and he's in the band called Pavement, also at a concert said to a fellow named bbc, Stephen Malkmus explained that there is no such thing as a carrot rope, but it was meant to be taken as this amazing thing that the character has that no one else has ever seen, and can share it with only a few people. Although everyone still thinks its his penis. But we ALL know one thing for sure at least and that its in his pocket.

How to make a diode (person)

(person) by jackel666 (print)                                                             Fri Aug 08 2003 at 19:24:47 UTC

It was a stressful journey, but here I am, explaining the creation (and funtion) of a diode to the best of my ability.

butt chip
outsider art
Note to self:
Inferiority complex
generative music box
How to Fight Sadness
Transactional Analysis
Privilege and floor wax
Picasso on Stalin's cock
The Big Lebowski Phenomenon
The innate charm of silly crap
Playing guitar is like kissing
Reality Is What You Can Get Away With
Silly things we believe when we're kids
desine fata deum flecti sperare precando
Apple-pie families and their flaming wreckage
So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
Sometimes it's not political correctness, just respect and caring for others

We like to stay up late at night
Nathan, This is Unacceptable
How To Speak Poetry
Official Everything2 Poem
How to Write Bad Poetry
Want (the state of not having her)
16-bit Intel 8088 chip
Demanding Bitch haiku
Richard Brautigan
The Book of Markov

Because: Context is not important. Because: My life is one long series of contexts.
Around nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen.
I'm out; I'm free. Down here the night air is purple. What do I do with it all?
I don't think we're old enough to know if we're alcoholics at our age
All I Ever Really Needed to Know I Learned in the Dot-Com Apocalypse
Listen Mr. Cute Sweater you are all kinds of a sugar
I got jacked by the FBI, CNN and
The hidden danger of school lunch programs
My mushy Nine Inch Nails celebrity story
Why my co-worker, "Bob," is an idiot
Zen and the Art of Meeting Women
November 25, 2002 (bishopred1)
Third graders love acid techno
I sing banned Girl Scout songs
Dissed by a Five Year-Old
High school can kill you
Watching the disk defrag
My wife made me sexy!

boys and girls
nice guy complex
Nice guys finish last
just friends syndrome
I was a nice guy once
Sensitive New Age Guy
Don't tell her she's beautiful
What happens if you're too nice?
The theory that women prefer assholes
The pussification of the American male
Damn it feels good to be a nurturing male
The Joy of Pair Bonding: Hard and Soft Limits
Why some guys don't pick up on hints from women
You aren't a nice guy; you're a hairy jellyfish
The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
Most dating advice is as accurate as a Medieval medicine text

Zen Arcade
OHM: The Early Gurus Of Electronic Music

The Manual (How To Have A Number One - The Easy Way)
The top secret of talking like an American
How to write a pop psychology bestseller
The C++ Programming Language Freakshow
Refuse to date anyone you work with
How to kick ass at a job interview
Preparing for a house party
Home Recording on a Budget
Polish pronunciation

all men are rapists No more writeups are being accepted for this node. It seems to cover the issue quite comprehensively. If you have a startling new insight, please place it in your scratchpad and /msg a god or editor. If necessary, they will unlock the node to allow its inclusion.
The best comeback ever No more writeups are being accepted for this node. The best softlock ever.
The single sickest joke ever No more writeups are being accepted for this node. If you honestly feel you've a fresh, new, creative story about killing and raping babies, having sex with corpses or re-inventing the holocaust as a "funny little story" please find a fresh, new, creative way of adding them to the database. This node's sheer size alone should tell you to just read 'em and let it be...
Everyone has a dead bird story No more writeups are being accepted for this node. Just because everyone *has* one doesn't mean they should be noded.
Society for the prevention of Haikus No more writeups are being accepted for this node. All right. That does it. We get the point - enough, already! You'd better have a really good excuse if you dare to /msg a god or editor to have this unlocked.
April Trolls Day III - The Day the Music Died No more writeups are being accepted for this node. It happened a long time ago. Get over it. If you have something that REALLY REALLY REALLY has to be posted here, /msg an editor and show it to them.
I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23 No more writeups are being accepted for this node. Yeah, I was supposed to be something too, but instead I wasted my life away trying to get people not to submit crap on E2.
This freaking obsession with really abysmal porn No more writeups are being accepted for this node. Moonbeam fog horn puddle bumpers.
I will REMOVE the fucking toilet seat if you don't shut up No more writeups are being accepted for this node. Your radical opinions on toilet seat operation have not only occurred to others, but are driving what is largely agreed to be an overrated writeup's reputation through the stratosphere. If you really, truly, honestly believe you have something worthwhile to put here, please /msg a content editor or a god and we'll see what we can do.
Humans have six senses, why does everyone think we only have five? No more writeups are being accepted for this node. Your nth sense should have told you this, of course. If you have something really "on topic" to amaze us with, head over to proprioception.
Why strapping buttered toast to a cat's back will not produce infinite power No more writeups are being accepted for this node. This node title produces infinite amounts of writeups.


noding about e2
Nodes which sarcastically argue a point in order to make the other side look foolish are funny!
This place makes me embarrassed about my spelling, not my sexual deviations
the Chatterbox allows only one answer to the question "should I breed?"
The Nitpicker's Guide to E2 Style and Formatting
Getting to know you noders fucking sucked
I like this writeup, so blow me
E2 is unfriendly to New Order
Favorite Everything Quotes
Nodeshell Nursery Rhymes
Nate's Pseudo-Wisdoms
Database Lag-o-meter
The E2 Backstory
E2 Gatherings
E2 Editor Doc