Findings:

• Help! I'm noding and I can't get up!
• Help! I'm going to have sex
• I'm going to have to ask you to leave
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• this is how i'm going to die.
• I'm so pissed I can't stand up
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• this is it, we're going to die
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• if you don't stop laughing I'm going to pour Mountain Dew on your bed
• You know it is going to be a strange day when you wake up dead
• Dead men can't die
• What I'm trying to say is that I may have unconsciously plagiarized this
• She hopes I'm cursed forever to sleep on a twin size mattress, never graduating up in size to add a lover.
• When I'm swept up by the Rapture, grab the wheel of my pick-up
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• Going home to farm. Going home to die.
• Bloody hell... I'm gonna die to Boney M
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• The world is bleak and horrible and depressing, so I'm going to set it on fire and laugh
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• I'm a big mean censor, and I'm here to mess up all your fun
• You can't have everything
• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• because I have given up any care
• In this moment I'm focused on my own emotions. I don't care about how you feel. I can't.
• Why Won't Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?
• when you reflect that john now knows how he's going to die.
• Knowing you're going to die when you turn 30
• Why can't I die?
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• you can't have it both ways
• I'm going to paint a number 7.
• This is the last letter I'm going to not send you
• I'm going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• A howl that's only going to fly up into the sky and disappear
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• So long Arthur Miller! Who do I have to look up to now?
• Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
• You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
• "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
• Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• I'm up here in the nuthouse
• sometimes i go outside and stand in the sun and look up at the sky and pretend i'm a tree
• I can't stand up for falling down
• Why I'm glad the space shuttle blew up
• I have a face I cannot show, I make the rules up as I go
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• You can't see a man die hundreds of times and not think him immortal
• when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
• We don't have what we need because we can't stop wanting
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• it's mine, and you can't have it
• It takes two people to make you and one person to die. That is how the world is going to end.
• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
• I'm Going Slightly Mad
• i've never wanted to die, only things i can never have
• I am going to die
• Why can't the Democrats ever think up this kind of sleazy shit?
• Sobering up before going to bed
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• I'm going to run out of hints to drop
• We're going to have to take Heidi home
• Thumbs Up going down
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
• I can't wake up
• I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
• I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
• Man's desire to blow shit up, and to have a nice attache case
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• One day, I'm going to get rid of it all
• This is why we can't have nice things
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
• I have made up a name for my disease
• I can't have an original idea anymore
• They have a trendy name for every different kind of fucked up.
• Why beverage cans have concave bottoms
• A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
• i have messed up. i am a horrible person.
• You Can't Have Mary
• I'm taking all I have to take, this taking's gonna shape me
• I'm scared. I don't have a name.
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• People have fucked up before
• I'm just so tired of waking up all alone
• Why I'm giving up on boys
• I'm up, he sees me, I'm down
• You Burn Me Up I'm a Cigarette
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• If you EVER come across an empty floor, just know that I'm gonna fuck you up.
• Gosh! That single kiss made me feel like I'm charged up with the power of a million exploding suns!
• You're not laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka up
• i'm afraid i will have to request that no one have the name "john" ever again. Existing "johns" will need to change their names.
• I love you so much that I have to break up with you
• To a beautiful woman who can't have ketchup
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• We can't even sort out the space between people, we have no business building rockets.
• I'm filled with feelings even German can't describe
• I write you, when I can't have you near me.
• you can't you can never be sure. you die without knowing.
• You don't even have a chance of being happy if you can't let shit go.
• Pick up the Phone Booth and Die
• i cant ever have you, even in my mind.
• you can't hear my voice cause i'm not loud enough
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• I'm crying and I can't stop
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• Wake up... Time to die!
• "Don't die to go to heaven, start in on Doctor Pepper and end up on whiskey!!"
• Khaled Islambouli
• Fucked up ways to die
• you have five minutes to admire the beauty in everything and then you die
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• When you grow up, your heart dies
• Many have died; you also will die.
• You don't even know the meaning of the word committed. I'm Andy Kaufman, motherfucker. I will die on this hill I made, in this battle I started, for this prize I already own.
• I'm Going Home
• The guy who can't even pick up guys
• I'm going to be a Dad
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• Why do children have to die?
• if I can't have silence
• I am going to beat up Reel Big Fish
• I'm Going Crazy
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• Someday soon, I'm going to save you from your life
• I'm sparkin like a match that's never going out
• I'm going to miss the squirrels
• I'm Not Going to Lie to You
• I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
• I'm going to Disneyland
• I'm Going Straight to Heaven
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• If you keep going into the barbershop you'll end up getting a haircut
• I'm going to the moon
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• Screw UNIX, I'm just going to smoke pot and eat Cheetos for the rest of my life
• Stay there. I'm going to get my gun.
• I'm going to kill you
• I'm Going to Go Back There Someday
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• I'm going to love you like the undead woe their graves, crave the living.
• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• Fuck you I'm going to write poetry about your city
• when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
• If they're going up to the sun, the stars and the moon, why don't they bring the moon down for us?
• If you have to ask, you can't afford it
• oh God, i'm going to regret this one
• I enjoy slacking. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
• Can't speed up, can't slow down - all we can do is follow these damn dogs
• I'm sorry, but we can't watch the rest of MacBeth until it is censored
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• I've fallen and I can't get up!
• See a penny, pick it up and all day long you'll have good luck
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• All of us have looked up to an older kid at some point
• I'm white, upper-middle-class in the richest country in the world-what need have I for God?
• we woke up to find you gone. well, said the city, we still have the river.
• People only enter relationships to have extravagant break ups
• How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
• Baptist fear of dancing
• I feel disillusionment creeping up on me like the day after a 21st birthday. A deep sigh of shallow disappointment.
• Trail your finger through the air, and then tell me you can't feel it
• If I can't dance, I don't want to be part of your revolution
• You can't chop a tree down with your head
• How not to faint when you can't move
• I can't hear you
• you can't polish a turd

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