Findings:

• Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
• When did my fiance turn into my security blanket?!
• Who needs another person when you have yourself?
• I did not have sexual relations with that woman
• I can't remember when it happened (only that it did)
• When we have reached the end of time and light
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• She bought a new smile every week when we first started seeing each other. Then I had to buy them.
• When I too long have looked upon your face,
• When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire
• What I wrote when I was missing David
• Why oh why did the black crayon always die first?
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• When scientists make mistakes they see what they did wrong and then try again.
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• Every morning when I wake up, I feel guilty for all the things I have ever been
• Did the Japanese go and sit down and have dinner with Pearl Harbor before they bombed 'em?
• Good foods to eat when you first get a tongue piercing
• When first my way to fair I took
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• When a boy comes over, always have something baking
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• I'll give up printf() when you pry my cold dead fingers from it
• when even the plants have abandoned me
• Have you come here to play Jesus, as I did?
• Did Adam and Eve Have Navels?
• The snow is the first distinct memory I have
• When my boat comes in, you will be the first to board
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today.
• The ancient Egyptians have nothing on us when it comes to cursed tombs
• When did everyone get so attractive?
• I would have liked thunder when she left
• For White Girls Who Have Considered Afro Hair Products/When the Conditioner is Enuf
• Lord Christ, When First You Came to Earth
• When I have Fears that I may Cease to Be
• Who needs genetic cloning when we have The Gap?
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• What face did you have before your mother and father were born?
• When did the World get so old?
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• It is cold and we have no writeups.
• Did God have choice in creating the universe?
• Since when did you respect anything?
• Did Ronald Reagan end the Cold War?
• Times when you MUST have a smoke
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• When people ask "Where are you from?" I have to think for a minute
• A time when a gun might have been helpful
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• When did you choose to be left-handed?
• I have not been entirely truthful with you. I did gagoogidy that girl. I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus.
• What kind of crummy friends did Proust have?
• The hot girls from cold countries have scars you're not supposed to see
• We have a fictitious world; that is the first step:
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• Some Jews actually get pissed when you wish them a Merry Christmas
• When did I lose my brave little soul?
• Some Haikus I Wrote When We Went to the Keys
• What's the first thing you feel when you shoot an unarmed civilian? Recoil.
• That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• When America sneezes, Canada catches a cold
• Damn, damn, damn: what did you have to go and do that for
• When did you decide to forget every wrong you had done?
• Snakes on a Plane: Clinton did not have conversations with that woman
• the first casualty when war comes is the truth
• That which I should have done I did not do
• When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• When they come they'll eat the fat ones first
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• when Hemingway Wrote
• When you move here we will have plenty of time to have fun together
• What did you love when you were a kid?
• i did that on purpose. i didn't have to miss.
• Don't lick stuff when it's cold
• Since when did being spiritual matter? Since when did thread count matter?
• a dream you did not have
• Laugh when you have been listening well
• Stoned music memories
• times when i have said: i wanted to write
• Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
• and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
• Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?
• When Did You See Her Last?
• when did we forget how to play?
• What you should REALLY do when you have too many votes on your hands.
• a bad day is when I lie in the bed and think of things that might have been
• I write you, when I can't have you near me.
• What did you mean when you said...
• Did Jesus Have A Pimply Nose?
• We have come to the first bump in the road
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• I cried when I wrote this song, sue me if I play too long
• When living we have need of Death
• Keeping beer cold in the Old West
• The hostages wrote thank you cards to their captors when they got home.
• Movies that should have been books first
• When I have female children
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• Did it hurt when you fell from heaven
• When I first met you
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• When I woke up this morning, I thought I was a parallelogram. I still have a sneaking suspicion.
• What do you have that you did not receive?
• When You Were Little Did You Wonder
• When they say "Gotta have it!" they mean it!
• When did you realise you really weren't going to realize some of your dreams?
• Buying your first mountain bike
• How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
• when all the white horses have broken free
• The first cold ghost of rain
• Where were you when the Eschaton arrived?
• Shakespeare Did It Syndrome
• when fake deaf guys attack
• Why did so many animals return to the sea
• Things we say and do when we can't tell the truth
• The boys did not know it. They were just being beautiful, and I got to watch.
• When the foeman bares his steel
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• When the words stop working
• Girls who go home with you when they don't even know your name
• if tables could express gratitude, this one did
• When phone systems attack
• How exactly did the Anglo-Saxons replace the Celts?
• water does not expand when it freezes
• Late-night rally driving on the beach, or: Run like Hell when the cops come
• Mahler Symphony No. 1
• When We With Sappho
• Thomas Jefferson's First Inaugural Address
• When in doubt, choose wings not shoes
• First Great Western
• when I touch her I hope it's you that smiles
• Women making the first move
• Swing when you're winning
• Wizard's First Rule
• Too many people say "I love you" when they mean "I like you"
• First Federal income tax
• When the ocean fell
• A date idea, but not for the first date
• When All's Well
• The First Ten Years
• When the Boat Comes In
• My First Porn
• This is When it Happens
• The Exile of Tarquin, and the First Consuls
• When we see the early signs of daylight fading, we leave just before it's gone.
• Assembly of First Nations
• When the shit hits the Diffusion pump
• starred first
• When or Not, Make it Great
• The First State Of The Union Address
• When the rescue plane landed, I realized we had resorted to cannibalism too soon.
• Rambo: First Blood part II
• When I was 9
• Jellyfish sting
• When I growl, the sound echoes like thunder all through the valleys and woodlands, and children tremble with fear, and women cover their heads with their aprons, and big men run and hide.
• First Khandhaka 11-15
• When your life has become a Radiohead song
• First class mail
• first feel
• Loving someone, knowing down to the day when you will leave them.
• first orgasm
• When your imaginary life is interrupted unapologetically by your real one
• surviving the first day of college
• sometimes death comes when it's the furthest from your mind

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