Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "We finally have a family comedy that can stand next to Tommy Wiseau's The Room"

• from where I stand I can see they have already won
• I can only pray that, when I finally leave, I will have done little enough damage to be totally forgotten
• Why beverage cans have concave bottoms
• Only in the dark can we see the lives we have lost
• Who needs love when you can have death?
• I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
• Family Room
• The smell of kittens that have been careless; the flowers and the beer cans emerging from the snow.
• How can an atheist have morals?
• Mister Obama can I have a pony
• No Time, No Room, No Thought, or Writing Can
• I'll keep calligraphy (you can have the flying spaghetti monster)
• The next mass extinction may have already begun.
• I don't have a problem with Biblical Literalism, it's Christians I can't stand
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• How can I need kisses I have never felt?
• Even a Doll Can Seem To Have a Soul
• How can a man stand when they cut off his feet?
• Come the Rapture, Can I have your Car?
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• if a cycle can be broken, then it will have been worth it
• it is a new dawn and I am a new me, this you can have if you want
• Having knowledge is not the same as having understanding. You can have all the pieces in front of you and still not be able to put the puzzle together.
• somehow I felt hopeful, as if I have finally found a ragtag army of fellow fighters, none of whom cared what socks I was wearing
• we just have to past the wisdom to the next civilization
• "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
• Generic stand up comedy routine
• Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
• God, do you think I can have a nephew this time?
• I miss you can I have the ground back now
• You are at the beginning of your next trillion years, and you can spend it with us, or you can spend it curled up and shivering.
• Can I have a light?
• I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
• Waiting for the tear gas in my room to fade away so i can sleep
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• we have learned all that we can from anal probing
• You can stand tall enough to cast a shadow, and you know this
• You can have great armfuls of just such roses as these.
• Can I have your autograph? (category)
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• Up, because the sky has room for us and more than we can ever make
• Something I Can Never Have
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• i've never wanted to die, only things i can never have
• Can we have a metaphysics of frogs?
• Rampant mass consumerism is so evil. Hey, can I have a sip of that Frappucino?
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• Some days are magic, and I can do anything. The other days, I just have to wait, and hope it comes back.
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• I don't have a problem with Christians, it's Biblical Literalism I can't stand
• stand up comedy
• Books I have bought for next year
• Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
• Fireplace accessories
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• I can own this room
• How can we have a Y2K problem in a country with both Microsoft and Intel?
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• Mindgames to play while your roommates are having sex in the next room
• Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived
• A House Divided Against Itself Cannot Stand
• Dead Can Dance
• Seven words you can never say on television
• can of corn
• garbage can
• trash can
• WWIII can start in Afghanistan
• Yan Can Cook
• coffee can
• Can we all just get along?
• One of the most irritating things that can happen when talking
• Star Wars cans hidden message
• Be all that you can be
• canned food
• God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
• The Hedgehog Can Never Be Buggered At All
• Archived E2 FAQ: Source Code (document)
• Can buoy
• Can hook
• Water can
• That is not dead which can eternal lie
• I can eat a bicycle!
• Linux can reduce your taxes
• canned laughter
• What song would you want to sing if you could sing?
• Your smoking can harm others
• Can porn appeal to women?
• canned coffee
• Any song can be a love song
• that can made you sick
• Nothing can stop me now
• Prince Albert in a can
• Can I go back to sleep now?
• Getting out of a traffic ticket
• Be nice to smokers: any cigarette can be their last
• Amazing what you can do with a paperclip and a snapped elastic band
• windows where I can look out
• Dr Pepper imitations
• Can I masturbate too much?
• How to say "I can eat glass, it does not hurt me"
• I can never ride the bleeding edge of technology!
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• Can I nominate this guy for sainthood?
• Be the baddest bad girl you can be
• Genetic Engineering, and How We Can Survive
• If you look hard enough, you can see Satan and his works everywhere
• I can eat a peach for hours
• Jay Buhner can vomit at will
• This poem can be put off no longer
• How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?
• My God parted the sea; what can yours do?
• How many ways can you say "ginger"?
• How many ways can you say "vinegar"?
• How many ways can you say "It's stuff made from soy"?
• tower of pop cans
• What is an "online pet" and can I actually raise one?
• How an S-R latch can destroy the universe
• Push a can
• Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
• There I stood, rambling incoherently into the tin can, you loved it
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• I can hang out with guys without fucking them!
• Can you hum a few bars?
• Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
• It's the Internet, I can do what I want
• Smoking can kill you
• can control
• canned ham
• Things you can tell just by looking at her
• I can divide by zero
• Language of the dead
• Smoking during pregnancy can harm your baby
• No one can be totally logical
• Hard disk vibrations and how you can stop them
• Tobacco smoke can harm your children
• Aerosol cans and a lighter can bring wet wood to life
• you can make anything seem cool with over-formatting
• How can a good Buddhist work in advertising?
• can opener
• can of grease
• I can do much better than this
• Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
• Why engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• Can someone send me a photo of the server my nodes are on, please?
• The Pariah Coke Can Theory
• I think I can, I think I can
• I can taste the floor
• Potatoes saved my life they can save yours too
• Tommy's French
• How can a thinking, rational adult be an atheist?
• The best compliment an actor can receive
• Not everyone can give good blowjobs. Sorry.
• Canned Heat
• Mom, can we go to the mall?
• king can
• A darn good reason to cover the trash can
• How complex can a public toilet be?
• I can neither confirm or deny these charges
• ordering a pizza can be a painful experience
• The eerie tale of prescient canned pasta
• True Love Can Wait
• Children can be cruel
• When can it end?
• I sometimes feel like I need every human that I can form a healthy relationship with to survive
• What can you tell us about the Republican Platform?
• How far can an animal fall and survive?
• Some people can just hold onto the things that really matter to them
• Sometimes, all you can be is a friend
• I can make a bong out of anything
• Testing wild plants to see if you can eat them
• murder can be fun
• Why the obliteration of privacy can be a good thing
• Chalk can put us on the Moon
• Brother, can you spare a dime?

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