Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I Had Vacantly Crumpled It into My Pocket...But By God, Eliot, It Was a Photograph from Life!"

• Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?
• smiling in photographs was a concept introduced by Kodak
• Went to Coney Island on a Mission From God... Be Back by Five
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• born under candlelight just from the edge of a knife, was it a life? or was it a light at all?
• I Was Kidnapped By Lesbian Pirates from Outer Space
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• My first and last attempt at a one night stand was raided by the police
• I was less than one hundred footsteps away from you I suppose
• As nuclear explosions ravage New York City, the apartment block residents rush downstairs to escape the building, only to be forced into the basement by further explosions.
• Born from a glacier, hatched by a volcano, gone to the sea
• Every day we stray further from God's light.
• God keep me from ever completing anything
• The dubious distinction of being criticized from the left by the Ku Klux Klan
• Is the fact of your certain death enough to prevent you from enjoying life?
• If you become lucid, you realize history's greatest literature was being written as you read it ...by yourself.
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 18
• we turn into werewolves, liquor dripping from our fangs
• The Scots Confession: Chapter 7
• Life After God
• Top 10 Things I've Learned From Conversations with God
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• whispers circles into my neck by soft fingers
• Take life by the hand
• Why we learn from the Gods
• spiders survive water by curling into a ball and trapping a bubble of air
• The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
• In the long purple evenings when rock n roll from WLAM blurred into night baseball from WCOU
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• When life gives you lemons, FIND A NEW GOD
• God was creepier than I expected so I took it out on the little people
• cut from the cloth of god; nothing is real
• all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• I was raised by the French government
• Black holes are where God divided by zero
• You were the one beam of light in my life; I responded by putting on sunglasses.
• "Have you noticed that we are surrounded by Germans? Oh my god, you're right!" The quadrennial Cologne Nodermeet, Part II
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• Proposed: The only way for a woman to achieve true ecstacy is to allow herself to be taken by the Goat God in the Circle of Candles on a moonless night
• chapters marked by love notes from another man's wife
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
• everything I need to know about life I learned from juggling
• Removed from humanity, I realized I was just another distraction
• My lunch money was stolen by a predatory Mars rover
• I was hit by a train that doesn't really exist
• And love keeps pouring into Toronto from everywhere it's despised
• If her secrets spilled from her eyes into his
• I convert my crushes into friends, and from there to the status of Muse
• collecting on old debts from when mom was a loan shark
• God won't hear when you pray from Hell
• It was all God's fault
• The promise of life. This he stole from himself as well.
• If God was willing to let it be
• If God had a cunt you'd be God
• If you had any balls, you'd say 'Oh, my God, what is that thing?' then scream and cut your mic.
• That man was a sock puppet on the hand of God.
• impossible now to discern which had cleaved a heart from the errant which had missed the mark.
• Food which was intended as such by nature
• Jacques Chirac was shot in the head by a fascist named Jean-Marie Le Pen
• One by one we threw our eyes into the sea
• Touched by the Hand of God
• Arguments for the perceived impending invasion of Earth by atomic-powered Killbots from Planet X
• Walking by houses that briefly turn into homes
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
• Do you not see that if we kill him with the pill from the till by making with it the drug in the jug, you need not light the candle with the handle on the gateau from the chateau!
• You are judged by the God that you choose to be judged by
• Fossils were put there by God
• When your life is defined by a single action, it changes the concept of time.
• she was waylaid by an octopus
• God won't take the time to sort your ashes from mine
• I've had better hugs from wind gusts and dead people
• It was too late by the time the robots came and I couldn't, I just couldn't
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever a bear
• Demonstration of God's Existence From Motion
• Stoned music memories
• Every strong wind one leans into and smiles should bring back a lost toy from childhood
• Drawn from Life
• There once was a man from St. Paul
• How to jump into water from a height
• In order that I may know something more before I depart from life
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• "Bass Players": From the life of the composer as a young man.
• I was discovered by scientists, what will they call me?
• And then wings sprouted from the space between my shoulders where my wings had once been
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• Scattershot Life Advice from an Ex-Cynic
• This book was stolen from the Harvard College Library. It was later recovered. The thief was sentenced to two years at hard labor.
• Physical Insights from Conway's Game of Life
• because I am lazy and enjoy staring blankly into space (which is also the space where novels come from)
• you can't escape from God on a Sunday
• The Man Who Flew Into Space From His Apartment
• Draw myself into the shell, waiting on a sign from god...or a nod from hell
• Man was created in God's image
• Thrusting into horse beings from space using a modicum of caution
• God was in the west too, at one time.
• I Thought My Father Was God
• Of Gods and Men: Who Was This Man Called the Christ?
• That time I was almost killed by scary cult children
• Two of them. Hovering there like bloated gas giants in the heavens. Good God, it was beautiful.
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• So this one time, God walked into an inn...
• God was created in man's image
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• Everything I learned in life, I learned from Buddhist drunks
• Perfect Game of Robotron Achieved by God
• The German textbook that was written by Morrissey
• Electronically, I was questioned by a mallard of flame…
• Swimming pool injury
• Dragged past the interesting parts of life by common sense and assumption
• There By the Grace of God
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• Gap analysis of a telephone call
• asphyxiated by life (user)
• A regiment of intellectual ghosts walks the streets of this working class city, casting dignity, reason, and courage into each soul they pass by
• There was a Man Dwelt by a Churchyard
• Copyright and Old Masters
• Spice up your life by attending strip clubs
• Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• my whole life is passing me by and I sometimes wonder why I am even still alive
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• When life gives you lemons, grab it by the throat and demand better
• On getting blown up 8000 miles from home by a man who does not own shoes
• She was most amazed by the obvious, like January and the fact that I could not possibly keep her.
• By evening I will have returned all traces that I was ever here
• A God Pleased By The Odor Of Burning Flesh; A God Who Burns Human Flesh, Eternally
• They protect us from danger by harming us before we can harm ourselves
• No important data was harmed by the ILOVEYOU worm
• What was stolen by someone else
• By morning I will have erased all traces that I was ever here
• Bourree from Suite No. 1 for Lute by J. S. Bach
• surrounded by stars, her dark hair blending into the fabric of the night sky
• When your imaginary life is interrupted unapologetically by your real one
• The Fight for Life Driven by Faith
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• every secret thing was made by some one
• i can't fit it all in but by god, i will keep trying
• Grabbing Life by the Gi
• Bhagavad-Gita - Religion by Separation from the Qualities
• What I want from life
• An eternity spent apart from God
• they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty creator
• it was years before they met again, by chance
• The judging of American talent by persons from the United Kingdom
• An insight into government spending derived from potty-training
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• The South had the right to secede from the Union
• How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
• The theory of evolution says that life originated, and evolution proceeds, by random chance
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• Making life from simple household chemicals
• She always was all tea and oranges that came all the way from China
• Your success in life has been predetermined from birth
• Someday soon, I'm going to save you from your life
• It was daylight when you looked up from your ditch
• Lessons learned from the rap industry may or may not serve a useful purpose in everyday life
• A collect call from god
• Impressions from a young revolutionary's life
• If I Should Fall from Grace with God
• From 'The Seven Dreams Of The Golden Unicorn' by Reynold Cosby
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• Odd facts of life I learned from Math
• I was taken by a honeymoon scam
• The trail of its demise was visible from the surf.
• God save me from the gift of prophecy
• Fruit cut from the vine, forgot and left to rot, long before it was time
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel a strong compulsion to get up from the table
• sunset rainwater turns her sidewalk chalk-art into a sherbert delight; a surprise gift from chaos that tumbles her like tinkling bells onto the wet grass
• An American in Tours
• being beaten into an unhealthy state by other people's pasts
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few

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