Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I heard the news at the gym. I am no competitive weightlifter or bodybuilder-- sheesh, at present, I'm dealing with a rotator cuff injury, so lifting would be out in any case-- just a guy trying to prolong the life of an aging body I have not always treated well"

• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I worry that no matter how hard I pray, you'll always be just out of my reach
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I always sound Irish when I'm trying to be charming
• Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life
• it wouldn't be so bad if people like you would have become ghosts too
• I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• So I'm wrestling with the demoness while the priest is trying not to soil his vestments, and Faust is just sitting there like an idiot
• Just as it could not imprison itself with laws, impoverish itself with money or misguide itself with leaders, so it would not misrepresent itself with signs.
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
• I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
• Often I feel like I am just shouting my observations into a raging storm and no one hears
• I'm no saviour. I'm just a nut with a baseball bat.
• We wanted to be together, so we worked it out.
• If you have to scream to be heard, you have nothing profound to say
• Out would spill a life of secrets kept
• Well if it's gonna be THAT kinda party, then I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!
• What I'm trying to say is that I may have unconsciously plagiarized this
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• I just submit to one or two days of horror for going out and playing at being a normal functioning person
• Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible
• The transition out of misery begins with discipline. You have always known this. It's time you resigned yourself to it.
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• if i'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now
• I'm so sorry. I just couldn't not.
• It wouldn't sell so well if no one bought it
• We Have Always Been The Party Of No
• Making your body race so your mind won't be able to
• I'm dreaming it so it must be true
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• If you were any more open minded, your brain would fall out
• My life may no longer be my own
• i'm trying not to be a prisoner of time
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• I have gone too far. I have been thinking, this is my life. Well, not yet.
• Before we dump the bodies, you guys wanna go to Hooters?
• The easier option would just be to electroplate the chicken.
• I am hoping for a hell deep enough to hold me. I am hoping for no way out.
• Why do we treat them so well?
• i'm afraid i will have to request that no one have the name "john" ever again. Existing "johns" will need to change their names.
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• I'm not a monster, Tom. Well, technically I am. I guess I am.
• Crazy People Always Think I'm the Sweetest Guy
• You don't always have to disagree, or agree for that matter
• stop trying so hard, and just do. you'll do better.
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• Be a model or just look like one
• You haven't seen it and you don't understand. I have malice. I have cruelty. The little fire that's always been inside me isn't so little anymore.
• i carry a deep sadness of the past, perhaps always. but i am here for the present and the future. i am here for you.
• I thought that I wanted this. I didn't realize it would be so hollow
• Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
• I Am the Assuminator, and I Have Just Assumed
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• Everyone is just trying to be farther meta
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• A Bunch of Guys Who Just Happen To Have Instruments
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• If you would be so kind
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• I'm just so tired of waking up all alone
• Over and over it would rain so that we could not dig the body up
• I have been orbiting this planet for thirty-seven years, and am just now starting to experience reentry (document)
• They made the sunrise for people like us just so we have an excuse for why we're still up.
• Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
• If we classified ducks as monsters, well, that would be pretty accurate.
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• No one gets out of this life alive
• Oh no, I'm thinking out loud again
• all life is no more than a match struck in the dark and blown out again
• born under candlelight just from the edge of a knife, was it a life? or was it a light at all?
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• So while Faust is busy trying to wipe the blood off his face and Shorty's trying to claw his eyes out, I mosey away and try my hand at storming the castle
• Except When To Do So Would Injure Them Or Others
• Trying to stomp the life out of false hope
• at the moment i have forgotten if i am abraham lincoln or captain ahab - nonetheless i am an important figure in u.s. history
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• I have always imagined that Paradise will be a kind of library
• We'll always have Paris
• Do not be surprised, I have always been your canvas, Argenis.
• we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?
• Bernie would have won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's
• How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
• It is important go out for a late walk in the new snow
• I am just going outside and may be some time.
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• I have to admit, I always wanted to be a necromancer
• Mind without body
• I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
• I'm trying to see little old ladies as versions of my mom; it helps me be a better person
• What would existence be like for a child born with no senses?
• lost, or trying to be
• I have always wanted someone to say to me what you just said
• Am I insane, or is it just wishful thinking?
• Life without music would be a mistake
• Just to see what it would be like
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• If everyone had a flower instead of a gun, there would be no more war
• I'm not doing it just to be weird
• I am no doubt moving. The question now is not where, but how. My life changes everyday. Big deal.
• After this, everything got louder and no one could be heard
• I'm no better off with a car than I am without one
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil -- for tonight I have broken my own heart, and my soul is too empty to be afraid.
• Foam on the tide is no more or less real than the sea, it simply is, was, will be
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• It was something that sand out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• The body's alive, but no head. I'm having a lot of trouble accepting it.
• Swimming pool injury
• Are you searching to be inspired? Or are you searching to be amused, be content, be happy? What could you have been?
• Would you be more of a Jekyll or a Hyde?
• This would be so dirty if we weren't all professionals
• I have little or no desire to watch you perform your daily rituals
• It was something that sang out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet
• I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.
• Eat well, shit strongly, and you shall have no fear of death!
• How to have an out of body experience
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• For future reference, when in eternity or insanity; dreams I would like to have
• I have measured out my life with a pumpkin patch
• I am letting myself down so you don't have to
• I am in love with so much more than your body heat, but let's start there
• What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
• I'm not PMS-ing, I am just hormonally imbalanced
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• We can't even sort out the space between people, we have no business building rockets.
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• Just Yes Or No Will Do
• Screw UNIX, I'm just going to smoke pot and eat Cheetos for the rest of my life
• Slaughterhouse tour, or Why I'm no longer a lawyer
• I have always considered warnings to be a kind of dare
• I'm so glad I'm no longer alone
• we're just trying to figure out what it all means
• why I do have to get so deep with people all the time just to gently let them down 2 weeks later
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people who no longer want you in their lives
• I am prepared to be just as mysterious as you
• I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
• Many girls want to be carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.
• She's not the snake, I am. She's just the apple.
• I am a stranger. I come in peace. Take me to your leader, and there will be a massive reward for you in eternity.
• Am I asleep? Have I slept?
• I am no prophet
• Tonight I am the one below the window, fresh out of pebbles
• I am capable of poetic language, but not always of poetry
• I am trying to break your heart
• Am am no prophet
• i have messed up. i am a horrible person.
• As I am. As I am. All or not at all.
• Why is it that the alien mortal enemies of humanity always have some fatal flaw?
• The drunker I am, the better I am at pool. Or is that the other way around?
• I am someone and I wish so much I could help you
• Go ahead. I am merely a secondary character in your life story.
• It Will Always Be Here For You
• I am no longer the foolish young man I once was
• Well I am... over-fuckin' whelmed.
• It will be good when I am leader
• We have always lived in the castle, Shirley
• and am happily disturbed by no passions
• It Could Always Be Worse
• This exact place where we laughed so much and the way you said my name will echo always in my brain

If you Log in you could create a "I heard the news at the gym. I am no competitive weightlifter or bodybuilder-- sheesh, at present, I'm dealing with a rotator cuff injury, so lifting would be out in any case-- just a guy trying to prolong the life of an aging body I have not always treated well" node. If you don't already have an account, you can register here.