Findings:

• As if either one of us were happy
• i know you're out there; i just wish you were here with me
• We're not running out of electrons any time soon, but dreams are in short supply.
• My mother and your mother were hanging out clothes
• How to herd people in public
• If you were any more open minded, your brain would fall out
• I miss the way you were before you figured out that I'm not yours
• Did we listen to pop music because we were miserable? Or were we miserable because we listened to pop music?
• It's not that we're more attractive in the darkness or that one of us may be drunk
• Cities: Skylines, or: This is a very 20th-century type of city we're building here
• the birds seem to know what we're up to out here.
• You couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the directions were printed on the heel.
• Or were they chords of sun?
• we're just trying to figure out what it all means
• we're made out of nothing
• Even if we're not together
• If Linux distributions were Airlines
• Every school is either a Pepsi school or a Coke school
• I Think We're All Bozos on This Bus
• Either/Or
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• Let him hold out hope that someone or other might come. Then fuckin' kill him.
• Swimming pool injury
• Coy or honestly shy, either way I have got mad designs on your dancy eyes
• Eigenvalues of idempotent matrices are either 0 or 1
• You're either with us or you're against us
• The square root of any positive integer is either integral or irrational
• The manner of drinking and spitting is either hard or soft
• Very emotional people are either psychotic or sincere
• You're either a patriot or a terrorist
• Where were you when Kennedy was shot?
• Where were you when the Eschaton arrived?
• Behave as if there were a God
• Let's pretend we're married
• The Ten Who Were Taken
• All good men are either gay or married
• I wish I were close
• Either a Ravine or a Precipice
• either only mean people live that long, or mean lives make mean people
• Either everyone deserves or no one does
• Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
• You Were on My Mind
• How my plans to sell someone's soul on eBay were foiled
• We're bigger than Jesus now
• What face did you have before your mother and father were born?
• We're waiting for you to die
• Face it, we're all a bunch of perverts
• More of The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• Sometimes friendships were meant to be destroyed
• We've received your resume, and we're entering your credentials in our companywide database
• Don't believe us - we're all cultural prostitutes
• Would you know if you were insane?
• Treating registers as if they were variables
• Stolen Items Were Eyeballs, Not Lobsters
• Today Is the Tomorrow You Were Promised Yesterday : Introduction
• November 4, 1995
• Weird foods your parents gave you when you were sick
• Today Is the Tomorrow You were Promised Yesterday : Acknowledgements
• What if I were born in someone else's life?
• Where were you when someone asked where you were when something happened
• I felt as calm as the day outside. My footsteps were certain below the neutral sky. I wished there were someone watching.
• We emerged on the other side of the cartoon holes fully awake and discovered we were whole
• If I were to take over the world with kick-ass robots
• We were tripping
• When We Were Very Young
• Now your songs mean what they were supposed to from the beginning
• It's a jailbreak; we're free.
• Why do computer geeks feel they were born in the wrong time?
• The weather is here, wish you were beautiful
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• We're in this Together
• Those were the days
• If the world were logical, men would ride sidesaddle
• Were
• No animals were harmed in the writing of this node
• Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
• Now that we're being so open and honest
• Being a Christian is magical and foolish: Maybe we're all caught up in a collective psychosis
• We're all doing just fine
• Ever made it with an aardvark? We're quite rare.
• We Two, How Long We Were Fool'd
• We were supposed to fall
• why we were chosen
• I don't think we're old enough to know if we're alcoholics at our age
• Stupid scary stories you heard when you were a kid
• We're the Replacements
• I wish that dreamland were slightly more predictable, sometimes
• If I were
• when you were words
• If All the World Were Paper
• If the Current Were to Call
• What would happen if an immovable object were confronted with an unstoppable force?
• If these things were spoken instead of dreamt
• It hurt when we were pruned
• We're all missing the point on computer security
• Thursdays were created to torture me
• Their Eyes Were Watching God
• Multi-user capabilities were added to UNIX during an all-night drinking binge at AT&T's Bell Labs
• Today Is the Tomorrow You were Promised Yesterday : 200 years of Information
• I used to know what color your eyes were
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• Son, do you know how fast you were going?
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• No Live Nude Lesbians were harmed in the rescuing of this nodeshell
• Why nothing would change if Ralph Nader were elected
• If I Were a Rich Man
• When you were my baby
• What did you love when you were a kid?
• We're not hitch-hiking any more... we're RIDING!
• When we were liars things were seamless
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
• We're on our way to being GODS!
• "But offstage things were falling apart..." is a registered trademark of VH1 Behind the Music
• Good thing they were just typewriters
• They Were Eleven
• Hey, we're Pizza Hut! We've put cheese in places you've never even dreamed of!
• We were Rome once
• Scheisse! The Real German You Were Never Taught in School
• Were there nine moons above your head? Were there none?
• Fossils were put there by God
• There were three young ladies of Birmingham
• this is it, we're going to die
• I just submit to one or two days of horror for going out and playing at being a normal functioning person
• We're Only In It For The Money
• Wish You Were Here
• Hints for Etiquette; or, Dining Out made Easy
• Once Were Warriors
• They were getting into riot gear as we sipped our wine
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• if yesterday were tomorrow today
• Those are pearls that were his eyes. Look!
• I thought paper cuts were like lightning
• If my life were an arcade game
• The Two Men Who Were Enemies
• Of course, they were wrong
• Candide and Martin Sup with Six Sharpers--Who They Were
• We were never really friends
• Sighs, short and infrequent, were exhaled,
• How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
• In case you were wondering about cramps
• "We're With Ditka"
• If this were in person, I would have kissed her now
• We're trying to have a baby
• When We Were Kings
• We're shifting the paradigm
• We're all in the dark, just looking for the light
• when we were children
• If the IRA are "terrorists," so were the French Resistance against the Nazis
• Silly things we believe when we're kids
• I'd elope if I were you
• There were people on the Titanic who waved away the dessert trolley
• You Better Watch Out, or the Insects Will Get You
• RFC 602
• The Story of Two Sisters Who Were Jealous of Their Younger Sister
• Bright Star, Would I were Steadfast as Thou Art
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• Mimsy Were the Borogoves
• I was into them after they were hip
• If our genitalia were on our hands
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• I'd not trouble the universe with such things were it not for tumbling thoughts
• If the real world were like the internet
• If only the spaghetti westerns were half as good as their titles
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• I wouldn't try that if I were you
• You were my plans tonight
• It's better to be alone than to wish you were
• So... what do we do now that we're happy?
• Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
• Tenchi, go get some more *hic* TEA!
• Where were you when the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded?
• We're all guinea pigs
• If This Were a Movie
• Were you really expecting to only learn true things when you signed up for this class?
• In the long run, we're all dead
• When were the gospels written?
• the words were enough
• We're, Where, Were
• The place where you were undone

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