Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "if anything was going to get the human species out of the sorts of messes it was so good at getting into, it was going to be science"

• what I thought was going to be a turtleneck turned out to be a dickey
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• can it be that it was all so simple then
• This was not my going away party
• 2016 was bad enough. Is it only going to get worse?
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• when i wake up i can't remember what it was. it's so hard to smuggle something out of a dream.
• God was creepier than I expected so I took it out on the little people
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• It was something that sand out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• When I was five years old, I knew I was going to die
• I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• She was too beautiful to be human
• It was something that sang out while burning itself up, at the risk that nothing would be left.
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
• As I Was Going to St Ives
• I was going to marry Marty
• Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
• Boy, I was sure lucky to be born into the one true faith!
• She was so quiet that nobody heard her
• Suicide Was A Good Choice
• The day I found out I was a guy
• So I turned round and there was an inflatable man sat at the table
• She was so pleased to learn that she was right
• The sound was starting to get stuck in my head like "It's a Small World"
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• When I was a kid, I wanted to get tuberculosis
• this is unlike the story it was written to be
• If God was willing to let it be
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• Two of them. Hovering there like bloated gas giants in the heavens. Good God, it was beautiful.
• If I was a good person
• except that church was Episcopal with an ongoing history of bursting into flames
• A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• I was so cool, that first afternoon
• If this was an Olympic Sport, I'd be world champion
• It's really very silly, I was thinking, they are all acting so weird
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• I was raised on red pepper and blood. I am so hot if you strike me I will light like a match.
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• Where's the kaboom?
• Well, I was tired of being 24 anyway, so there
• If the King's English was good enough for Jesus
• the last time I clobbered a human soul it was over a red-nosed girl and a schoolbook in County Derry
• I turned Quizro into a Quiet Riot CD, and all I got was this jar of lemon-flavoured pickles.
• Trying to catch one clear promise out of the jittery confused language the night was whispering
• Could you be any more of a poseur? 'Changes' was a best-of!
• I can prove that Jesus was both human and divine
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• The dynasty made people die in nasty ways. This mess was necessary and they're not sorry.
• I was never any good at maths at school
• I Was the Girl You Were Told Not to Be
• If I were watched alone, I'd be considered insane
• And as the dreaming was danced, a sound went out
• An easy way to get out of going to church
• the country was so nice we bombed it twice
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• If I was a woman I'd be a feminist too
• I was doing so well.
• It was free, so I took it.
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• I was afraid of getting caught
• unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
• The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
• To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• Sex with my sister was always really, really good
• I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
• every noder was once a normal human
• The artifact was completely impenetrable to all forms of matter except living human flesh
• Food was purer in the good old days
• I was into them after they were hip
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• It was men who made breasts into a secret.
• the magic that was meant to capture the outlaw instead transformed him into a monster
• The Tale of a Youth who set out to learn what Fear was
• Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
• I Dropped Out of School, and All I Got Was This Necklace
• this was supposed to be a parable about the power of the imagination
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• I worked at the mall in the 80s. There was a cult that used to recruit out on the front steps.
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• I don't remember what her name was so let's call her Doris
• You're not going to be happy until you put someone's eye out
• I was supposed to be somebody by the age of 23
• She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
• Around nine PM my heart was breaking so I went to bed early to listen to it happen.
• So there I was, naked and hiding, facing the dissertation committee from the Isle of Lesbos
• The total sum of all things would be zero if it was not for love
• I was supposed to be dead when this picture was taken
• People wouldn't fall in love so often if it were more clearly marked
• I Fell Out of School, and All I Found Was This Necklace
• Foam on the tide is no more or less real than the sea, it simply is, was, will be
• You thought the silent treatment was as cold as it could get
• RIT was supposed to be built in New Mexico
• I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now
• My father's secret life was never meant to be secret
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• The night was alive, and so was I
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• So I was drinking with the son of Man the other night, and...
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• Wouldn't it suck to be God's mom and not even get laid in the deal?
• His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
• When I was little my mother told me not to sit close to the T.V., so when I was six I did.
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• I got the feeling the Fairy Council was mad at me when the president knocked over her coffee to get a better grip on my neck
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• If you keep going into the barbershop you'll end up getting a haircut
• so fragile and cold, i was
• I was Dan for fifteen minutes and I never want to be Dan again
• She was so tall, and I was so in love
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• This wasn't how it was supposed to be
• so my crowd was Catholic, Protestant, atheist, confused, and white
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• What I would do If I knew what was good for me
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• In the end, it was a Good Thing that I rushed Pierre.
• If love was a circus, you'd be a clown
• His love was enormous; it cleared rooms that desperately wanted to be full.
• I'm starting to think I was a waste of a perfectly good placenta
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• Get dressed NOW or you're going in your underwear.
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• Why fab might be going on an all-smoothie diet soon
• a horse that's lost could be dreaming of the girl that's going to find him
• Going out with a bang
• The world is bleak and horrible and depressing, so I'm going to set it on fire and laugh
• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• A Prayer on going into my House
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• You do realise that this is going to be our lives for the next ten years?
• I Kissed "Weird Al" Yankovic and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt
• Is she really going out with him?
• follow us into the black, so far that we can't get back
• The Matrix is going down for a reboot in 5 minutes: all users, please save your data and log out
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• I am going to rewrite you so that I can still like people.
• the tide going out
• swilling champagne like it's going out of fashion
• I'm sparkin like a match that's never going out
• You know it is going to be a strange day when you wake up dead
• Going out for a smoothie with your dad
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
• When I stop going there, I will be well.
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it's not.
• It's going to be fine
• when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
• A howl that's only going to fly up into the sky and disappear
• My neighbours are going to make me into a creepy voyeur
• No One Here Is Ever Going to be President: Noders raise things in the city where things fall down
• Any exercise can be made harder by going slower
• Ways of going out in cricket
• got to be good looking cause he's so hard to see
• I'm going to run out of hints to drop
• Good Thing Going
• I just submit to one or two days of horror for going out and playing at being a normal functioning person

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