Here's the stuff we found when you searched for ""On the one hand, nobody has performed any invasive surgery on me while I slept. On the other, I still have a mutant eyeball growing out of my neck.""

• and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• Don't force your not forcing one's philosophy on others philosophy on me
• It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
• Let's just say the ground is swept for me even if nobody rolled out a red carpet
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• Christianity has caused more war throughout the ages than any other cause
• On the other hand, you have different fingers
• Inventors have one hand in the junk drawer
• So while Faust is busy trying to wipe the blood off his face and Shorty's trying to claw his eyes out, I mosey away and try my hand at storming the castle
• we have the most gigabytes of infodata but we still shoot each other on the streets
• You have to watch out for the quiet ones
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• The one valid argument for Judaism over any other religion
• One last time, to dance me out of your heart
• One hand in the other
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• I still have the skull of the one that tried to bite my leg off
• Oh, False One, You Have Deceived Me
• if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
• Sometimes, my paranoia overtakes me and I find myself asking, "IS ONE OF THE E2 EDITORS OUT TO GET ME!?"
• Have One On Me
• we're part of something bigger than any one of us. i just feel lucky to have been chosen.
• Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
• How, though the Sphere shewed me other mysteries of Spaceland, I still desired more; and what came of it
• Nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands
• I have blinked. And the world has blinked. And we open our eyes to find each other alone.
• Nobody paid any attention until white people started to speak out
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• Grace and Fury walk with you, call each by name when the other has failed
• Some things Sensei has tried to teach me
• A letter to those who have impressed me
• You have the whole world in your hands
• Call me back when hair starts growing on his palms
• Bernie would have won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's
• Halfway buried, lend me a hand
• Cats are far smarter than any other animal I know
• The tattoo phenomenon
• Nobody wins the game of who has been hurt more
• My warranty has run out
• The Important Stuff (or, Has Nobody Really Asked This Yet?) (e2poll)
• on the other hand
• someone has been out crying on my lawn again
• The Seattle Monorail has only one stop
• Hand me that piano
• Unintentional irony and complete idiocy often go hand in hand with one another
• Opening a coke can with one hand
• it's beyond all of us, and it makes me hold your hand a little tighter
• Your radical ideas about religion as a mechanism of social control have already occurred to others
• Why some mammals have an aversion to water
• You couldn't save me back then. I will save you now. Trust me, take my hand.
• Don't give me your hand me down love
• I feel like I'm getting weaker, while Charlie's growing stronger in the jungle
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• "Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
• My life has suddenly been decided for me
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• She has the biggest cock of any girl I know
• No one has died
• All Hands on the Bad One
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards
• you have to stop growing mushrooms in your dishwasher
• How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
• How to cut a deck of cards with one hand
• The end is always the same: two adjacent beach chairs, two hands holding each other.
• Balloons whose strings have slipped from unclutched hands
• On one hand
• Pick a nose, any nose : Cosmetic Surgery in society
• If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
• The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
• Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
• Does war have any redeeming features?
• A rose by any other name would smell as sweet
• When she woke up, her hands were still dreaming
• Experience has made me bitter
• Growing older makes me depressed
• The ringing has been drowned out by voices
• God has power, whether or not one believes in Her/Him
• Proving a function has only one root in a given interval
• My recent perfect date has given me hope
• Never imagine you have any idea what you're attracted to
• The Christmas Season has it in for me.
• a contracting function in a complete metric space has one fixed point (proof)
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• No one has ever been bitten to death by a poisonous snake in a ball pit
• Has no one told you he's not breathing?
• He has redefined me, again and again
• Civilization III has made me sympathize with the Japanese in WWII
• StuartO))) has his head up his ass and could not write his way out of a wet paper sack
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• What golf has taught me
• Don't Crush that Dwarf, Hand Me the Pliers
• I don't want my magic anymore. It has only caused me problems.
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• Press any key to continue, press any other key to exit
• A Tyler By Any Other Name
• Car commercials that won't let you have any fun
• three in one hand
• The first beat down handed out in the Senate
• You gave me your hand, I gave you my fist
• This is what happens, son, when you let your wife's green lung get out of hand
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• She left me on the boardwalk with my head held in my hands.
• She handed me my first sharpened pencil.
• If your hand is larger than your face you have cancer
• Other Hands
• Hand them a straw, and they'll suck the life out of you.
• What you should REALLY do when you have too many votes on your hands.
• Any function can be represented as the sum of an even function and an odd one
• drop the bass and come out with your hands up
• How can I pour your wine while my hands shake so?
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
• A Jared by any other name
• I must have left my soft, gooey centre in my other pair of pants
• Your radical ideas about society, individualism, and religion have already occurred to others
• So what if your radical ideas have already occurred to others
• Dreamy things people have said to me
• More numbers begin with 1 than with any other digit
• The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
• Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned
• How to unclip a bra with one hand
• two in one hand
• To boldly go where no one has gone before
• There is nothing growing here, in the space between she and me
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• A song has a lyric, songs have lyrics
• To One who has been Long in City Pent
• Rapidly advancing dairy technology has left me behind
• My one regret as of yet is that my life has been utterly tolerable
• Something everyone has done but nobody knows what to call it
• September has such a feeling
• It's all a blank, which makes me think something far far worse has actually happened
• 5 months with no sex has finally got me in trouble
• How to find out if an egg has gone bad
• She still has my Borges book
• The most comfortable position to assume after one has been kicked in the junk
• She is stupidly keeping herself a secret, when I know she has sparkly things to show me
• Arguing with my father has never achieved anything for me ever
• Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever?
• feline allergies
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• Each one has their own story
• A list of things kids should and should not have from a woman who has no kids
• I have to firmly hold onto a belief that everyone in the world has shed tears over something beautiful
• Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
• My mom has the Pope, my dad has my mom, and I have the sky
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• God ain't giving out any hints
• She's smarter than me but she's also more quiet, therefore she has no personality which makes me feel better
• The Jackal: Episode One: A Hero Has Risen, And She Demands Worker's Comp
• because I have given up any care
• much later, probably one whole minute has passed
• Jonathan Ticklebutt has one of the universe's most gorgeous faces
• Unless the enemy has studied his Agrippa... which I have!
• Everything always comes back to me. Everything has always been my fault
• Oh well, I guess I'll have to stain the world with darkness until my bloodlust has been quenched.
• no one has a single face. we are multiplicities.
• Whoever You Are Holding Me Now in Hand
• What is the sound of one hand clapping?
• the rain has no enemies; all things are rain of one form or another
• You have far too much time on your hands
• hand me downs
• Cool! Now hand me the sandwich Luke.
• the ancient sun that has shone on every one of us
• Hitler has only got one ball
• How to clap with one hand
• Luckily, my hands do not have eyes.
• How to crack an egg with one hand
• We have eleven toes on each hand, and we walk softly
• My hands have lost their memory
• I want your hands on me
• one handed words
• You don't have any real problems
• If Christianity were true, why would there still be any Jews?

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