Findings:

• When someone was willing to drown with me, I really didn't want to drown anymore
• I am sorry but when you were talking I was admiring the shape of your lips and evaluating their kissability
• If the Windows source code was leaked, what do you think would happen?
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• I don't remember what life was like when I was seven. I like the taste of air. What should I do?
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• The Box Said 'Do NOT Open" But The Seal Was Already Broken
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• What was I thinking when I said it didn't hurt?
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• i didn't write this, but i wish i had
• When mind blindness strikes your child, where do you go?
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• The flowers smiled, but she was gone
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• one was giving me the eye but nothing came of it
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• Made direct amends to such people wherever possible except when to do so would injure them or others
• Ten things Britons should not do when visiting the US
• What to do when your brakes fail
• What do you want to see happen?
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• I've got nifty things to do in September but it's not September yet.
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• A Fun Thing to Do When You've Tied One On
• How do you know when someone's your best friend?
• When In Rome, do as the Romans do
• I thought what I'd do was, I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes
• What to Do When Your Girl Melts
• Do not enter into compression box when motor is running
• Why do bad things happen to good people?
• But life is hard when the written word is your first language
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like. But there IS someone there. There IS someone there.
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• When we kiss I can hear your thoughts, so I would rather we didn't
• Why I didn't get my driver's license until I was 18
• I am afraid to breathe or shut my eyes but I do both.
• They do not know how immortal, but I know
• The dimples of your breasts do pucker evocatively when you smile
• Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead
• Do you really think voting for a third party candidate is going to "send a message"?
• How do you know when your relationship is over?
• I could do without it, if I knew what it was
• Where I go when I masturbate
• What do you do when a book deal goes bad?
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• Things to do in Denver when you're not dead: A Mile-High Nodermeet
• What you should REALLY do when you have too many votes on your hands.
• What shall we do when we leave the army?
• What to do when the world doesn't end
• I thought I had some great insight into human nature, but I didn't
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• strange and too short but I was lonely
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• It wasn't so much a trip down memory lane as it was me carjacking someone's memorymobile and speeding off down the freeway, but I digress.
• I didn't mean to write this, but this is how it came out
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• I swear I just came here for a sandwich, but do you remember me?
• the fire burned and burned; it was so great and now so much time has passed and the fire is still burning, but it requires attendance
• we went to the stars, but all we found was ourselves
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• It was a dream. But it wasn't a dream.
• they carry but they do not understand
• Political Parties that didn't quite make it
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• nothing to do but hold the hand of the Buddha and roam
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• Those torpedo bombers didn't do a darn thing did they
• Things to do when technology gets here
• Where do they keep the car keys when they transport cars?
• Touristy things to do when visiting PEI
• When you cut yourself shaving
• Where do you hide when the dark is alive?
• It was all I could do not to cry
• Why do heterosexual noders tell us as much, when defending homosexuals?
• "It was wrong to do this," said the angel
• Why do we hurt when our loved ones die?
• It was the least I could do
• Things we say and do when we can't tell the truth
• I died for Beauty -- but was scarce
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• What do we want? Nothing. When do we want it? Whenever.
• What to do when your husband comes home
• Keeping secrets from your children may harm them
• What do I do when I'm alone?
• How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• On the last day of 2004, we will do something in Portland. That thing is called a party. You can come.
• When society rejects you, you do the obvious: You reject it.
• Southern Funerary Rites: Things to Do In Dixie When You're Dead
• What do you get when you cross the Alps with elephants?
• What I would do If I knew what was good for me
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• What to do when a roommate moves out
• What not to do when seeing apartments
• Things to do on Valentine's day when you're single
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• I was once smaller than a jellybean, but now look at me - I am macroscopic!
• Do not mourn the day, for the sun shall rise, but you may not
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• Oh, no. Look, you've gone and made me optimistic. I was before, but now it is showing.
• But seriously, a tragic thing happened down the street
• I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• Somebody told me a story. It was pretty but boring. It was Saturday night, my stories usually end up that way.
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• I bought an orange, but it was a grapefruit
• Once upon a time there was an ocean but now there is a mountain range.
• I do not lift pencils for art, but for words
• How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
• Think of something you always wanted to do, but are afraid of. Do it today.
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• that moment of panic when you flush the toilet but nothing goes down
• There was silence in my heart, but you found a way to break it.
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• you never thought this would happen to you, but it did
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• What to do if you earn a lot but hate your job
• He thinks I don't, but I do
• I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it
• It’s memories that I’m stealing, but you’re innocent when you dream
• The Guards die, but do not surrender
• I was in heaven, I was in hell. Believed in niether but feared them as well.
• Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there's only love in the dark
• The serpent was in the garden again, but there weren't any apples left in the tree, so I figured things were cool.
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence is not an act, but a habit
• /but what was the question?
• I will tell you the phrase, but you must never speak it out loud. If you do, you will surely die.
• may you make mistakes large enough to learn from, but small enough that they do not destroy you
• Dreams Can Be Cryptic, Dreams Can Obfuscate, But Dreams Do Not Lie
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• I didn't know how to keep it but I couldn't throw it away.
• The last girl I dated was a vegetarian. We couldn't go anywhere and so it just didn't work out.
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• Noding for Numbers sure was silly, but it sure is better than Dada Fascism
• The things I spend my money on didn't exist when my parents were younger
• The nothin' but coal for you, geek e2 westside holiday gathering and lan party
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
• I didn't want to know where I was conceived
• i thought i was special, but it was you
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• Why do the things that happen to us make such funny stories?
• What to do when your car breaks down
• It all turned out all right but there was so much pain along the way
• Where do butterflies go when it rains?
• She didn't know what outside was anymore.
• I shall die, but that is all that I shall do for Death.

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