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Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "who doesn't love masturbating?"

A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little
Love, it's who you know.
Who needs love when you can have death?
Hansi, the Girl Who Loved the Swastika
i know that the ones who love us will miss us
The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon
What "I love you" doesn't mean
amoebas who love you
The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
God loves his children. Who's your daddy?
I Fell In Love With A Girl Who Was Already Gone.
The Man who Loved Only Numbers
Who needs Love
How to harass someone who doesn't even get online using IRC
The Man who Loved Islands
The Boy Who Loved Anne Frank
all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
Love at first sight OR Girls who are Boys who bring thoughts of philosophy and anthropomorphic hermaphrodism: A Story
We all love movies and books about us owning ourselves
Con Artists and The Women Who Love Them
Religion doesn't allow me to be who I am
The kind of woman who doesn't need catching
Overgrowth (for those who have loved the emotionally disturbed)
How to love someone who is mentally ill
I couldn't possibly be the only one who doesn't see empathy as a curse
He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last
You're the only one who doesn't know
One who doesn't ask, eats wax
The trouble with love is, it doesn't care how fast you fall
What if True Love doesn't wait?
Good News for People Who Love Bad News
Helping a loved one with depression
it doesn't matter who I was, all that matters is who I am
Who do you love?
Tomorrow, he must tell her that he doesn't love her anymore.
The girl who everyone loved
Who are wise in love, love most, say least
The Girl Who Loved the Wind
People who love FTP
the person who loves to learn
I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
you, who maddened my soul with love
A Love Poem for Galileo and Men Who Stare at Stars
A girl who fell in love with a stove
The Woman Who Loves Giraffes
For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
The Man Who Loved Jane Austen
there are people in the world who love you, and they will see that this suffering will not have happened in vain
25 Albums I Love By Bands and Artists Who I Would Not Love Otherwise
A love letter from someone who cannot say I Love You
The Spy Who Loved Me
Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
Papa Doesn't Love His Children Anymore
The girl you fell in love with
doesn't
Knowing doesn't mean so much
Why C++ doesn't suck
Things my mom doesn't argue with me about anymore
If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
Ack! That person doesn't fit in a category! Quick, find one for them!
The fact that you make no sense doesn't mean you're an artist
Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
Predestination doesn't imply the lack of free will
It doesn't get any better than this
Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
God probably doesn't exist
Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
I've accepted the way it is and it doesn't hurt so much
My aunt doesn't like them
I realize that just because I like something a lot, it doesn't mean it is of high quality
why life doesn't suck: a pep talk
I will kill that rooster, if it doesn't shut up
Never trust something that bleeds for a week and doesn't die
Your Happiness Doesn't Matter
If my mom doesn't let me play the violin because it's gay then ...
The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
Salvation doesn't always come from a Bible
Religion does not cure stupidity, nor does atheism cure it
Jesus doesn't care if you say the word "fuck"
US Customs doesn't get the Internet
Water goes down the drain the same way in Australia
A bounded universe doesn't resolve Olbers' paradox
The whole world doesn't want to hear your music
TANSTAAFL: Air Doesn't Grow On Trees
This doesn't change anything, right?
Close doesn't mean minimize
Information doesn't want to be anything
why tickling yourself doesn't work
My Swedish vibrator doesn't have Linux drivers!
Tuning a bad piano doesn't make it a good piano
The one at the top doesn't need to understand the mountain
Just because you can make music doesn't mean that you should
Jane Gets Serious, Mark Doesn't
Why fire suppression doesn't work - Case study: Chaparral
Why fire suppression doesn't work - Case study: Lake Tahoe
Sex doesn't ruin friendships; people do.
Who we Meet, Who we Remember
Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
My vote doesn't make a difference
The fact that you don't understand this doesn't mean it isn't art
When time travel in science fiction just doesn't make any sense
She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
She doesn't look like Mother anymore
What to do when the world doesn't end
I don't tell her these things, and she doesn't ask
Old Testament law doesn't apply to Christians
Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
He doesn't know what he's missing
Just because a man is nice to pretty girls, it doesn't make him a nice man
Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
The turkey doesn't have a head!
Why Nihilism doesn't work
I like hearing you talk. It doesn't matter if I don't understand.
Just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu
It Doesn't Matter Any More
What the IRS doesn't need to know
Being stupid doesn't excuse a rape
How to bake a cookie which doesn't come out as hard as a rock
The place where the sun doesn't shine
Technically it doesn't count
Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
Willem Dafoe doesn't care about you
Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore
A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen
Scotty Doesn't Know
It doesn't DO anything. That's the beauty of it!
I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
sleep doesn't take me far enough.
That which doesn't kill me makes me breakfast
George Bush doesn't care about black people
The endless blue sky is not big enough to hold her memories, so it doesn't
"Inmate" Doesn't Count (e2poll)
What doesn't take a million years takes a millionth of a second
She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
size doesn't matter
Self importance doesn't get you into heaven any more
International doesn't mean foreign
dying doesn't make one a saint
just because you've forgotten doesn't mean that you're forgiven
A solution to spam (which doesn't work, but nice try)
reading a sad story backwards doesn't make it have a happy ending
it doesn't make sense in the future
And while the angel and the succubus are arguing, I'm trying to make sure Faust doesn't stop breathing
A pretty sky just gets me wound up, and my head starts pounding. The city doesn't need a sky.
the river doesn't need a name to drown you
If someone punches you out of hatred, they're definitely a villain. But that doesn't mean that you're a hero.
Make yourself into a town that doesn't know you
She doesn't really want a nice guy
Doesn't Remind Me
Better Than Tofurkey: a vegan main dish that doesn't suck (wild rice and vegetables cooked in a pumpkin)
change doesn't happen
stop garage sales (or why Joe Lieberman doesn't like video games)
Chronologically, forward doesn't always mean progress: a reminder of the obvious
Infinity Doesn't Exist
tonight the cat decided to get in my bed which he doesn't usually do
Which doesn’t sound so crazy when we put it that way
I like the city, but the city doesn't like me
The fact that you don't understand this doesn't mean arse
turning off the alarm doesn't put out the fire
Ignoring everything that doesn't fit your narrative
old code doesn't rust. it also doesn't evolve.
Why Daily Evil Doesn't Apply To Me
doesn't look like anything to me
just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
Because they are clowns, that doesn't mean they aren't dangerous. And being dangerous doesn't mean they aren't clowns.
equality doesn't mean we're all the same
just because you don't doesn't mean you can't
It doesn't matter how smart you are if you let your emotions get the better of you
Having good intentions doesn't unhurt anyone
he doesn't talk
if the truth drives me mad, that doesn't really say much for my previous state, does it?

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