Findings:
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- Rocks Do Not Belong in the Road, or: How to Launch a Mazda Protege Into the Air
- How Gudrun cast herself into the Sea, but was brought ashore again
- Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
- How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
- An E2 Desultory Philippic
- When we was fat ( ... or, Lord Gym)
- Boy, I was sure lucky to be born into the one true faith!
- Becoming an idiot, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love my siblings
- how to turn a dorm room into a swimming pool
- Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- This wasn't how it was supposed to be
- Beautiful Times (Or: How I Embraced the Escapist Mindset and Tuned in to My Imagination)
- Was that real, or did I dream it?
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter VI
- How Not to Write a Novel; or, How to Not Write a Novel
- How to MP3 a tape, LP or the radio
- Strange man makes permanent visit
- Weather-related clichés (or how to start a conversation with a stranger)
- How to turn a tiny illustration into a poster-sized masterpiece
- how to get into UCLA
- This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
- Watermelon hookah
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- A dose of mystery slipped into her cocktail while she was in the ladies' room
- Turn a simple LED into a beautiful bass light show
- A day in the life of an Alzheimer's wife or how it all started with a missing spatula
- Was It Heaven? Or Hell?
- assume the Party Escort Submission Position or you will miss the party
- New Mexico, or was that Oklahoma?
- I was into them after they were hip
- Turning a call option into a put option (and vice versa)
- How to share your Cable Modem or DSL connection between two computers
- Formatting poems and simple HTML
- How Eulenspiegel, along with the other boys, was made to eat too much bread
- How to determine if an egg is hard-boiled or uncooked
- How Uncle Henry Got Into Trouble
- Fixing a water damaged cell phone
- How to add Surround into a plain stereo system
- Lost love - or how I grew to love the truck stop
- How America was mapped
- How to get Apache to use simple URIs
- The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
- How to turn a kraken house into a kraken home
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- How the capital letters turned into the small letters
- How to avoid a car accident
- How the West Was Lost
- The use of 'use,' or, how to use 'use'
- I stared into the muddled sky with tears running down my face in small rivers, and I knew then that there was no hope
- except that church was Episcopal with an ongoing history of bursting into flames
- It was men who made breasts into a secret.
- An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter IX
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter VII
- calling into the void, is it more frightening to hear a response, or nothing?
- Every poem about thunder was written under the protection of a roof, or, at the very least, an empty sky
- I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter III
- How do you take your dreams? Shattered, scattered, covered, or raw?
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- Dental surgery, or, how I learned to appreciate anesthesia
- How to be a Gangsta (in 5 simple steps)
- How to tell if you are stoned or not
- A simple card trick to win bets and make enemies
- How to transform adjectives into adverbs in French
- Show your work, or, how my math abilities started to decline
- How my Father was excommunicated from the LDS Church
- The UK's farmers, or How to reap a profit without worrying about pesky scruples
- look at how we fold perfectly into the night
- How Eulenspiegel crept into a beehive
- DJuxtaposition vs. Gamestop : Or how I learned to let go of the PS2 and start loving the DC
- How Ozma Looked into the Magic Picture
- Turning a dorm room into a room
- How to turn an axolotl into a salamander
- How to herd people in public
- How to serve a cheese plate - or, how I came to love curds and eschew fashion
- How the West Was Won
- You, standing
- How to replicate a dynamic website quickly without the source code or database
- The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
- Megalania (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the lizard)
- 206
- How to Build a House or Destroy a Home
- Metal Inert Ass Welding, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the F-Bomb
- How books get into libraries
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- A Mathematical Adventure, or, How I Spent an Afternoon Proving Nothing
- How to entertain unwashed masses on little or no money
- How to turn a crack house into a crack home
- How Candide Was Obliged to Leave the Fair Cunegund and the Old Woman
- The unending hatred elves have of debt and how it needlessly complicates simple social interactions: an essay
- Do not put this product into the rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device or applicator
- middle of summer how crazy it was
- you never once told her how beautiful she was nor how much you truly loved her
- Belief, or How I Became an Honorary Jew
- I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
- You grabbed my hand, and we fell into it. Like a daydream. Or a fever.
- I turned Quizro into a Quiet Riot CD, and all I got was this jar of lemon-flavoured pickles.
- Like white light? Or a long low moan that turns into laughing? Or the holes in Jesus' hands?
- Gaily they went down in the lush field a treasure of valuables or specie or bullion lodged with a crust of bread into her coat of arms weaving currying the embroidering of silk in summer.
- am i an angel flying into the light or a bug flying towards a light bulb?
- Swimming pool injury
- Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
- Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?
- the magic that was meant to capture the outlaw instead transformed him into a monster
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter V
- Was it Love, or Obsession?
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter VIII
- Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter IV
- I felt I was part of something, like a voice in a crowd or an island in a sea
- I didn't ask if the glass was half full or half empty. I've always had enough to drink.
- There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
- An infallible way to discern whether a decade, in pop culture terms, was win or fail
- It doesn't matter whether Hitler was an Atheist or a Christian
- Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- New And Improved Illustrated Bartender's Manual or How to Mix Drinks of the Present Style
- How was your trip to London, Dan?
- How many different species live on or in the average human body?
- How was the Bible canonized?
- Just how perfect was Jesus?
- How to break into a car
- How to recover a lost Linux root or Windows 2000 Administrator password
- Dipping your hand into molten lead
- How to disable or translate caps lock in Microsoft Windows 2000
- Overcoming arachnophobia, or how I learned to love the spiders with HUMAN HEADS!
- How to turn your Hyundai Excel into a race car
- How to turn a CD-ROM drive into a CD player
- The Tornado, or, how we almost all got killed.
- How to do an overbar or overline in Microsoft Word
- How I got over my homophobia or the reasons that I blame my grades on a gay man
- The Thanksgiving Curse, or, how we keep almost getting killed.
- I still can't think of anything, or how Fight Club changed my life
- Dr. Bloodmoney or How We Got Along After the Bomb
- Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
- How Kissing Was Discovered
- How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
- How to entertain young children on little or no money
- edev: Writeuptype bugs, or how nate got stuck between two parentheses
- How to jump into water from a height
- How to avoid driving into your garage with your bike still on the car roof rack
- How I insulted a Mormon, or reason #78345 I'm an Idiot
- How do you pronounce a 3? Or a 0?
- WoOz: 17 How the Balloon Was Launched
- Sympathy for the Mongols & How The Rise of the West was just sheer Dumb Luck
- How to jump into a pile of leaves
- How to sneak into the Atlanta Coca-Cola factory
- Running a BBS
- How to get tree sap or pitch off your hands
- How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
- Do you remember how small your body was when you were five?
- How to turn any number into a 9
- How was the play, Missus Lincoln?
- Wholesome Bible goodness in every mint
- An American in Tours
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- being thrown into the ocean, if nothing else, will teach you how to swim
- How to sleep with 0 women in four simple steps
- A short Blitz on Stepney in the Winter or How the East End welcomes Heisenberg with perky Bosons
- Charles Bridgeman
- How the Earth was destroyed
- Five minutes after falling off the cliff, I realized how high it really was
- And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep?
- A Springfest Housewarming Nodermeet: Or How I braved the wilds of Sydney's outskirts
- Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
- socketes matures during 4 14 years. - reflections upon an obscure Dadaist genius in our midst; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the troll.
- How to turn your boring job into a promising career
- man when you are telling me how it was
- I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
- all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
- Kosher curry, or how I missed the blindingly obvious
- How to get (or keep) a guy's attention at a bar
- How to sleep with 10,000 women in four simple steps
- Shaving your nuts without permanent injury and/or accidental castration
- How was Trump at Munich?
- if you buy into the wizard's bullshit, soon you're all standing waist-deep in things you didn't even know could exist and no one has any clue how to stop him
- That's Just How He Was
- relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
- "What *should* we be worried about?"; or how too many cooks make a statistically average soup
- How long must I stay in my pajamas before I turn into Howard Hughes?
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