Findings:

• I'd tell you but then I'd have to kill you
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
• I told her I could read her mind, but she didn't believe me. I could tell.
• If only I'd thought of the right words, I could have held on to your heart
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• If we could build things out of concepts, I'd have pants made of lust
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• Of course, first you have to kill him
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• If you or a loved one have been injured or killed
• Seems I might have stolen the blue part of her rainbow, but all I really did was make it bigger, a way bigger blue
• They could have sprung 50 cents for a connector
• your chances of being killed by a frog are low BUT NEVER ZERO
• But I have seen the sun just once
• How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
• No man could have the power that is yours and not know it
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• They say time makes things easier but only time will tell
• Penis for a day
• The stories I could tell you, if you only were here to hear
• Unloved, yeah. But I'd rather be cursed than poisoned.
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• I never thought I'd have something to say
• How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
• Khaled Islambouli
• tell me what you have in your heart
• Would I have hid myself away if I had known I'd never be found?
• You have a sad feeling for a moment, then it passes
• How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
• But alas, I have no badger to offer you
• I Meant to have but Modest Needs
• she doesn't write, doesn't tell you stories, but somehow it's her words that spring to mind at those crucial, terrifying moments, and for that you are eternally grateful
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• But if life were only moments, then you'd never know you had one
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• we're all here to die. but if you think that's all it is, you still have the bag on your head.
• We have nothing to fear but fear itself
• I will tell you the phrase, but you must never speak it out loud. If you do, you will surely die.
• before the internet when teen had REAL relationship the boy could look at the girl and judge the diameter of her thorax with his feelers and determine whether the mating ritual could commence but NO MORE. evil woman use her computer sorcery
• What could you possibly tell Hostess?
• Could you have danced with me?
• Nothing could kill the Grimace
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• How we could still have a President Trump
• If I could, I'd title this "Freedom"
• Know your pets
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy
• If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail
• I could tell by all of her dead house plants
• I would have killed for a sexual thought
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• Shall I tell you stories of other stars: stars that you love, that deserve your love. Stars that do not disappoint, and disgust, and disgrace your love. Oh, I have hope they exist for your sake!
• You have to lie to fall in love. You have to tell the truth to stay there.
• I'd love to go back to the late 80's and tell them about our time
• i hope i make it out, because i have a lot to tell you
• Of all the species on earth, we have the ability to tell the long march of evolution to go fuck itself
• If I were your boss, I'd have fired you
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• Swim with the fishies, but remember you have wings
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• you laugh and then you cry but you're still laughing but you miss her so damn much
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• So then I tried staring into the abyss, but it got distracted by a weasel and ditched me
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• Yet is there hope, then Love but play thy part
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• you have changed but the memory stayed the same
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• it won't kill you to breathe it in, but it may change you, years from now
• as you get older, a lot falls away. but i am not here to tell you not to worry. i am here to give you tools.
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• Then you could make out every time there's a Jewish holiday!
• Solving a maze
• The best phone call I could have made tonight
• Could have beens, should have beens
• Astro City #5
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• I love you but I have to let you go
• How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
• I have a most elegant proof of that, but this node is too small to contain it
• Could Muhammad have been autistic?
• How could you ever have enough?
• Tell me a story about taking whatever you could get
• The Things She Could Forget, If I'd Forget Them Too
• You just have to tell me these things, okay?
• Once I'd grown accustomed to its ugliness I could finally appreciate its beauty
• The Weddings I have Performed, or Why God is Gonna Kill Me
• If I could slip this skin but for a moment
• Girls who tell you they have a boyfriend
• Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
• If the only sexual organ you have is a penis then everything looks like a vagina
• Are you searching to be inspired? Or are you searching to be amused, be content, be happy? What could you have been?
• you could have done better with this letter of yours, miss
• I don't even have the energy to kill myself
• Micro or macro, we have the means to kill you
• two guys who have killed scores of imaginary people
• you have five minutes to admire the beauty in everything and then you die
• No, but I'll have a beer
• A thousand years from now, we should have coffee and tell stories while the world disintegrates
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• if a cycle can be broken, then it will have been worth it
• if you have love in your heart, then you are my friend
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.
• You should have killed me when you had the chance
• I could tell you some stories
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• "Excuse me, but could you drop your large backpack somewhere else, please?" A (almost) christmas nodermeet in the East End
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• Not atheist, but what then?
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• For to lose I could accept but to surrender I just wept
• curiosity killed the cat, but it never hurt me
• Why is it bad to make gays bishops, but okay to kill them?
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• She could hit four octaves above high-C, but she never performed in public
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• And then they came for me, but the bridge would not ignite.
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• She might not need me. But then again she might.
• I won't tell you the real reason why I hate you, but I'll tell you another which is just as good
• Being a dickhead
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• but the only power i truly have is the strength to let it go
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• I love you, but I dare not tell you.
• we have the most gigabytes of infodata but we still shoot each other on the streets
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• I'll be happier when the rain stops. But I know I'd be miserable if it never rained again.
• I could never draw but they made me an artist
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee
• We'd kill him, but it probably wouldn't solve anything
• Could I Have Been?
• If you could go back in time and kill Hitler, would you?
• Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?
• And All That Could Have Been
• I could take this in doses large enough to kill
• I wish you could have met me before I became food
• A little child could never kill this clean
• Where the water for the flood could have come from
• If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B Movie Actor
• They could have saved Kevin
• I'd like it here if I could leave and see you from a long way away
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• The good guys and the bad guys were on the back of the boat and I swear I only turned my back for a MINUTE but when I came back, they'd killed Mozart.
• Only a little child could kill this cleanly
• It could have been me
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
• It could have been a Brilliant Career
• I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
• I could have been one of a two
• I could have been Canadian
• I could have known everything for five dollars
• the only comfort we could ever have
• If I could be anything I'd be water and I'd be wild about it.
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• The cat (rumination of all that could have been)
• Tell all the Truth, but tell it slant

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