Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "I could make a pun about flying saucers but that would be a sign of a shallow wit"

• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• The Ten Commandments revised
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• The best kind of bartender
• But what kind of violence would not be natural? Is not cruelty natural?
• If I could be anything I'd be water and I'd be wild about it.
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• If voting changed anything, they would make it illegal
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• There should be laws requiring electric cars to make the Jetsons flying car noise
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• Just as it could not imprison itself with laws, impoverish itself with money or misguide itself with leaders, so it would not misrepresent itself with signs.
• I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• Imagine how the world would be if only wrecking balls could destroy flowers
• If not voting could change the system it would be illegal
• "What *should* we be worried about?"; or how too many cooks make a statistically average soup
• If I were Twenty-One I would determine, even if I could never be anything else in the world, that I would be a thoroughbred
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone renounced violence forever?
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about reading and books with someone that openly admits to being a bad reader
• I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
• Let's Make Up and Be Friendly
• Without chemicals, life itself would be impossible
• That would be me
• Just to see what it would be like
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• Your God does not make me want to reconsider my thoughts about suicide
• I never thought it would be like this
• makes me want to be a better hacker
• I will be the first thing you will be thinking about after you wake
• What am I doing here when I could be swimming with the dolphins?
• this was supposed to be a parable about the power of the imagination
• You could be so delicious
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• Art is whatever makes you proud to be human.
• What would existence be like for a child born with no senses?
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• The only thing to be truthfully said about tomorrow is that it changes everything
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• This moment will never come again. Would you rather enjoy it or complain about it?
• there must be something positive about this; I just can't think of it at the moment
• If somebody wrote a book about your life, would anybody want to read it?
• The world would be in much better shape if our leaders were hamsters
• Until I die there will be sounds. And they will continue following my death. One need not fear about the future of music.
• But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
• The Filesystem That Would Be King
• This Star Wars sheet may be worth something, but I just need a tablecloth
• How to be monstrously shallow
• Thinking about seitan makes miso horny
• A whimper would be fine
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• The mountain could be home
• It Could Always Be Worse
• It is not our noise at all, but we are lucky to be listening
• There could still be a reunion of The Band
• Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
• I set the alarm clock anyway, knowing I would be up all night
• Our Band Could Be Your Life
• That I Would Be Good
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• Notes on What's What and on What it Might be Reasonable to do about Whats What
• Unborn to-morrow and dead yesterday, why fret about them if today be sweet!
• I don't know about that fellow Rand, but I'd never trust a McNally.
• Someday my life will be interesting, and I will come back and tell you about it then
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• the world's big enough, but how about your mind?
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• Forget what you think you know about the opposite sex
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
• Prolific? Maybe. It could just be the mania.
• Why don't you just rip my heart out, it would be quicker and less painful
• That'd be the butt, Bob
• we are built to hold on, but the world is about letting go
• How to be the first one off the line at a 4-way stop sign
• I'm straight, but you might be the one
• Where would America be without Canada?
• The Man Who Would Be King
• You may be a noder, but you ain't no dancer
• It is never too late to be what you would have been
• Nothing could be further from the truth
• i could write a book about the things i don't know
• Never Again Would Birds' Song Be the Same
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• Heterosexist norms make it tough for gays to be themselves
• That's just my opinion, I could be wrong
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• Tears must be shed to make room for the laughter
• It Makes a Fellow Proud to Be a Soldier
• Might be like leftovers. Would not taste the same, however sweet.
• The kinds of friends that books could never be
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• After this, everything got louder and no one could be heard
• I want to be alone until God rips a rib out of my chest and makes me a woman
• Why would a lapsed Catholic want to be married in the church?
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• Starving in the greenhouse
• Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist
• There has to be a better way to make human beings
• We Could Be Heroes: tes's Everything2 Heroes Quest
• He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
• Signs must be loud
• Things that would have seemed unbelievable about 11 years ago
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• How to speak about women and be politically incorrect
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• When I look into her eyes, I no longer care about what the world thinks. This is what it feels like to be alive.
• maybe it's the writing about it that makes it great
• About the things you could not show her
• The music in my head is too loud to think about anything but you
• he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• Fifteen words about butt kicking
• There were a few moments you will not hear about, but they happened
• You know the little things about me that would sing in the silence
• i don't spend a lot of time thinking about what it feels like to be gored by a chainsaw
• Tell me a story about taking whatever you could get
• But What About the Property Damage?
• thinking about the brain surgery of your psychoanalyst, whose name is john, will make you crazy in a new way
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• maybe it's the writing about something that makes it great
• eternity would be boring
• If anything were different, everything would be different
• If there were more people like you, there would be less people
• It could be the last time you see me alive
• people are lazy about explanations so they make rules
• This place makes me embarrassed about my spelling, not my sexual deviations
• Things I would be interested in seeing used in a literary context
• "Hey wouldn't it be cool if we could do this" rule
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• If everyone had a flower instead of a gun, there would be no more war
• This would be easier if we did it backwards
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• Bragging about a high IQ is way worse than bragging about having a large dick. The latter can at least be demonstrably used for something and be put to good use.
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• Things that could be
• We knew there would be kissing, and breasts
• grumbling dissertation on how everything would be much better if it all were to explode
• If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him
• Statements that would be shocking to people living in 1975
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• Wouldn't it be nice if I could remember her as a firework
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• If language were liquid, it would be rushing in
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• We could all be blind
• Warning signs that your child may be a Goth
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• If I could be someone
• Mind without body
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• Why Star Trek: Series V would be a bad thing
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• Nothing could be close to quite like this
• Wouldn't it be nice if I could remember her

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