Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Which bit me in the ass because it meant I was keeping a secret from people who might be friends, and keeping an entire alternate Facebook account that I've totally lost track of"

• The Scots Confession: Chapter 18
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• My father's secret life was never meant to be secret
• Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• Wandering about with keys dangling from an oversized shoelace around your neck
• you never felt her hot blood on your face but, hey, who's keeping track
• She is stupidly keeping herself a secret, when I know she has sparkly things to show me
• It was men who made breasts into a secret.
• far be it from me
• Many girls want to be carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.
• Prepare me a ship of which the half-rotten timbers shall be painted black, let the sails be in rags, and the sailors infirm and sickly
• On a Leander Which Miss Reynolds, My Kind Friend, Gave Me
• But I've said it before and I'll say it again: kneecaps only exist to get hit with claw-hammers; grace only exists to be fallen from.
• That which cannot give me everything I might want
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• play dumb
• My Fine Feathered Friends, Chapter 11: In Which We Have a Bit of Gardening Trouble
• Famous people who died from smoking related illnesses
• Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
• The people who matter most to me are the ones who make me laugh
• His eyes look out at me from people that I meet
• subtlety is for people who want to be misunderstood
• A child who will clearly grow up to be as demented as me
• If people weren't meant to be eaten, they wouldn't be made of meat!
• I've Gotta Be Me
• I was not made for love songs, and love songs will never be made for me.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• The Let's Be Secret Friends Shack
• I've had better hugs from wind gusts and dead people
• Nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
• I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
• Keeping secrets is harder than taking lives
• I a man sad, with a linux box, a slow internet connection and friends who can not see the love in me bursting to get out.
• The economy has hit everyone hard. Well, everyone who hasn't lost track of how many houses they own, anyhow.
• Expecting your wedding to be the happiest day of your life
• a tech support story that a friend told me that you might find amusing
• I Was Lost and You Found Me
• Keeping your data from the FBI
• I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity
• You meant for this node to be read by me, and I would like to respond
• Religion doesn't allow me to be who I am
• To all the cold people who want to be warm again
• thoughts and ideas ought to be convoluted, because the things and people that they represent are equally so
• people who were not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no notion of walking
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• I'm starting to think the secret is to NOT be rich and prosperous. To be 'unsuccessful' (depending on who you ask)
• Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
• If poetry could describe the way you make me feel, poetry would be illegal. Or anyway I might get arrested.
• unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
• because I am lazy and enjoy staring blankly into space (which is also the space where novels come from)
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• i've lost the ability to be truly bored
• I lost a chance at $40,000 because my mommy wouldn't let me sell my stock
• Y2K from people who worked that night
• People just expect things from me
• all I ever learned from love was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
• Three people who are spies and a horse who will also be a spy
• Inability to decide on what your morals and values should be
• I remember when it was me who made her skin flush
• Basking in your warmth, I failed to notice that you were keeping me on the back burner
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• all who come to me with this map are lost
• Which God was cooler, the one from the Old Testament or the one from the New Testament?
• everyone who ever told me i was pretty was lying.
• I really miss the woman who told me that people don't like me
• "Let's just be friends" does not give you permission to stalk me
• spectres tell me your secrets so I might become a champion
• Music need not be popular to be good
• I remember when it was me who made her toilet flush
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• Why Can't We Be Friends?
• How to get Apache to be a bit more secretive
• These trains will be the death of me yet
• Can the Koran from Eternity be?
• Most adults forget what it was like to be a child once they hit a certain age
• Maybe when we drown the fish will be our friends
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• Her self image was not the force field she imagined it to be
• Social contract theory = Treat people the way you want to be treated
• Pretending to be someone else online and talking to your real-life friends
• His love was enormous; it cleared rooms that desperately wanted to be full.
• Let me be your fantasy
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• I hate you, or why we cannot be friends
• Lying, cheating, cunt of a person: Hi, that'll be me.
• Tell me what's real and I'll learn to be happy
• marry me and you'll be safe
• Beautiful that war and all its deeds of carnage must in time be utterly lost
• Trying to be friends
• Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Game at McDonald's
• Secret wish: To be identical to the ocean
• How does it feel to be one of the beautiful people?
• how to be a friend
• I Might Be Wrong
• Facebook (registry)
• You might be a Washingtonian
• The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God
• Who Will Survive, and What Will Be Left of Them?
• Which is not to be found in our obituaries
• It's all right to be filled with hate, people are stupid
• Beware! This might be reality!
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• If all you did was node, your writeups wouldn't be very interesting, would they?
• People of Earth: we could be heroes.
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• I couldn't possibly be the only one who doesn't see empathy as a curse
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• You might be a Mormon
• Things to consider if you might be talking to an alien
• Things to consider if you think someone might be dead
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• RIT was supposed to be built in New Mexico
• Let me be a martyr, dammit!
• Went to Coney Island on a Mission From God... Be Back by Five
• Where's the kaboom?
• Rules by which a great empire may be reduced to a small one
• Be you all pleas'd, your pleasures grieve not me
• If God was willing to let it be
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• I beg of you, cradle my head so that I might be with you forever
• Boy, I was sure lucky to be born into the one true faith!
• There was never supposed to be an Episode 7, 8, or 9
• an alternate universe in which fish are real
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• Starving in the greenhouse
• Darkness Be My Friend
• The Way It's Meant To Be Played
• don't be a fool, it's nineteen-ninety-five, the girls are just friends
• I was throwing around useless proverbs when all she needed was to be held and told that she was beautiful
• You give me wings. Don't be surprised if I fly.
• The Enigmatic Head of They Might Be Giants
• We try to be friendly here. Those who are not friendly will be shot.
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• Who Wants to be the Next US President?!
• Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
• Strangers have been, and continue to be, very kind to me. Thank you.
• It is something very shameful. Please contact me again if I can be of further service.
• If love was a circus, you'd be a clown
• May the wine be sweet. May the stories be heard. May the future bring me home.
• Wouldn't it be much easier if you just agreed with me?
• To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring - it was peace.
• If I was any good at this, I would be getting paid
• I'm Rudy Giuliani! I was mayor of New York on 9/11! I Should Be The President!
• The woman had a carnivorous frenzy which could only be soothed by the succulent sirloin
• Those Who Must Be Kept
• Might be like leftovers. Would not taste the same, however sweet.
• I can't be a scientist because I don't believe in God.
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• Can my nodes be used against me in a court of law?
• Why wiring your own phone line might not be a good idea
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• If I was a woman I'd be a feminist too
• Things to consider if you think you might be a cartoon character
• I'm gonna be sad and then I want you to make me laugh
• This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
• The mailbomb from the Christian Fundamentalists I pissed off should be here any day now
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Last time I was in Chicago I broke my ass
• Meditation I: Of the Things which may be brought within the Sphere of the Doubtful
• People in prison should be treated like animals
• Who Will Be There
• This song is meant to be played so loudly it liquefies your thoughts as you drive at night through abandoned neon dinosaur bones
• In a world of blind people, c would be the speed of sound
• Let him who is without sin among you be the first to cast a stone
• OBAFGKM
• When you know things are just meant to be
• I want to be alone until God rips a rib out of my chest and makes me a woman
• Who is more likely to be color-blind, men or women?
• Oh be a fine girl kiss me right now sweetheart
• My entire genetic makeup can be entered on a single CD-Rom
• How to approach a developer who may well be working and ask him a question
• If the field of AI had tried building footballers rather than chess players, how might it be different today?
• It Ain't Gonna Be Me
• I was Dan for fifteen minutes and I never want to be Dan again
• The kinds of friends that books could never be
• Nicotine might not be the most harmful ingredient of tobacco
• Never attribute to malice that which can be attributed to stupidity
• Authors who refuse to be photographed
• Look siad me Be like me
• I assumed we would not even be friends
• Why fab might be going on an all-smoothie diet soon

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